10 Things I Want To Do Before I Turn 24
Welcome to the ultimate Cosmopolitan Magazine front-page blurb! “10 things to do before you turn (enter age here).” This seems to be in every magazines midsection and I think there so fun to read and apply to your life. I haven’t read one in any magazine recently but with it being a new year and things going so well (for now that is), I thought it’d be a good idea to create the ultimate checklist of things I want to accomplish before I reach that 24 years old mark.
- Read 10 books
I started reading recreationally when I was in the hospital waiting for my transplant. Mainly because that was the only thing to do besides watch Netflix and color but I found that I actually enjoyed it! I not only read 2 books over the course of 6 weeks, but I looked into other books I would like to read in the near future. I’m not very much into fiction but I love the ‘self-help’ category when it comes to non-fiction. They say the average millionaire reads 52 books a year… That’s 1 book a week. Now 10 books is no where near that but it’s a start!
- Save $1,000
I know $1,000 doesn’t seem like a lot to save over the next 300+ days but I find myself rubbing pennies together towards the last end of the year due to the holidays (presents and travel). But this year I plan on saving a little bit from each paycheck in order to reach my $1,000 savings goal. What am I going to use the $1,000 for? Well you’ll just have to wait and see…
- Donate to charity… Regularly
Being a transplant survivor, I find it so important to give back to not only the American Heart Association but other charities as well. A little goes a long way and if I can create a positive impact on even as little as one event or individual, then I have done my job. Over the next week I intend to create a list of 10 charities I want to donate to. Whether it be $5 or $100… it’s the fact that I’m making a promise to myself and committing to a good cause.
- Spend more time with family
While at college I didn’t get the opportunity to spend random Saturday’s with my mom lounging around the couch but now that I’m back in the cities I plan to! Family is very important to me and family time is something that I think everyone shouldn’t take for granted. You really never know what can happen tomorrow (trust me, I’m speaking for experience) so I encourage you to add family time to your 2018 bucket list. At least it’s one thing you know you’ll for sure be able to check off.
I don’t want to put a limit on how many times I travel simply because I don’t wait to plan for too much or sell myself short. But what I do want to do is travel more frequently. I can’t travel out of the U.S. for another year or so because of my transplant restrictions and recommendations, but Florida is never a bad idea. The top 3 places I would book a flight to right now would be California, South Carolina and Florida!
- Do yoga or meditate at least once a week
I made a commitment to myself this year and that is to work out 5-6 days a week. So far I’ve stuck with it and plan to continue this healthy streak I’m on. One thing I really want to work on though is meditating. I find myself getting so caught up in everyday life that I forget to take time for myself. I know meditation is a skill that is learned over time so why not start now and take care of my spiritual mindset.
Just like donating to charities, volunteering is on the list of must-do things! I have volunteered in the past for various organizations but it’s always been school related or not something I really connected with. I want to volunteer periodically throughout the year in hopes of connecting with other volunteers and those effected by the given organization. It’s time to make a difference.
- Take my parents out to dinner
This one may have made you think of number 4 and while my parents are my family (immediate family to be exact), this particular goal is catered to them specifically. My parents have been funding my life for years. Dance competitions, lunch money, vacations, college and all of the above and now it’s time to give back. While it may be their responsibility as a parent, I want to show them I appreciate all that they’ve done by taking them out to dinner at a place they wouldn’t pick themselves.
- Put myself out there
I read an article not too long ago about “putting yourself out there” and how important it was to try new things and ultimately experience life! “Stop holding yourself back. Submit your short stories to magazines to be published; read your poetry out loud at a poetry open mic; or audition for the lead in a play. “Someday” is now. Make this the year you muster up the courage to make your mark in the world. After all, each birthday is a reminder that you’re not getting any younger.”
- Write my letter to ‘Her’ family
This was saved for last because it hits home… I want to write a letter to my donors family sometime this year. I’ve written multiple letters and jotted down ideas on what to write in my phone but either scribbled them out or deleted them because they were never good enough. What is the right thing to say? When’s the right time to send it? All of these questions are questions that I’ve been pondering but with the help of my psychologist I’ll send that letter.
These are all things that I want to achieve come January 17, 2019. I hope this generates ideas for you or someone you know in terms of your 2018 goals. I by no means think you should have the same goals as me if they don’t genuinely resonate with you. And please keep in mind that they should be YOUR goals… Not your moms, boyfriends, sisters, best friends, co-worker or anyone else. Make sure they’re achievable and stay true to you. Until next time…
Top 4 Trends This Season
Wow talk about a busy week! I know I usually don’t bring you content on Monday’s (typically Tuesday’s and Thursday’s) but I’ve been juggling so many things and wearing all these different hats. However I’m finally back in full swing with things and can’t wait to show you guys all that I’ve been planning. So welcome back babes and if this is your first time to Trending Prosperity make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a beat.
As fashion lovers, we’re always looking a season ahead for trends and “It” pieces that we need in our wardrobe. It’s a part of our nature and you might even be thinking about summer outfits as you sip your morning coffee because it’s so cold outside! And while it’s good to look ahead, sometimes we get distracted and lose track of where we are. So lets take a look at this seasons’ trends see what we may or may not be missing.
- Check Print
I’ve personally never been a fan but I guess this will bring out my inner Clueless character. This is a print you’ll find on blazers, trousers and skirts. Fashion police say if you’re not mixing this print with your favorite floral, you’re doing it all wrong. Do you agree?
If you thought you saw enough of this two years ago – think again. Like all things fashion this trend has found it’s way back on the retail shelves. Alexander Wang and Dior are diving head first into this trend and adding it to bags, skirts and dresses. Not a fan of all the fringe? No worries, you can be a part of this bandwagon by adding it to your accessories.
- Buckle Shoes
This trend goes way back to the mid-17th century and has seemed to linger around ever since. You may have always had a pair of buckle heels in your closet but weren’t sure if it was “socially acceptable” to wear them or not. Well now is your time! Pull those bad boys out and embrace your inner 2002 woman!
Spring colors in winter? Yep. Now this trend won’t be in full effect until spring, but it’s my job to keep you on your toes and 10-steps ahead of the game. Shades of lavender and lilac will slowly find their way into your favorite department stores so start planning accordingly!
Like all things in life, take these trends with a grain of salt. Just because your favorite celebrity is rocking a trend doesn’t mean you need to too. Wear what you’re comfortable wearing and what works for YOU. Don’t ever try to be someone you’re not because trust me – people can tell. Be authentic to yourself in all aspects of life… even your closet. Until next time…
I do not own any of the above photos
Blogs I Love to Read
Hey babes and welcome if this is your first time to Trending Prosperity. Make sure to subscribe after reading this post to make sure you stay up-to-date on all the latest ‘must-haves’ and ‘have-nots’. I decided to do something a little different this time around and instead of talking about myself, my experiences and my fashion opinions – we’ll talk about others. No… I don’t mean we’ll gossip but we’ll acknowledge the good in others (other bloggers that is).
Even though I’m a fashion & lifestyle blogger I still like to support my fellow bloggers and read about their thoughts and ideas. There are a bunch of Instagram accounts that I follow but a handful of blogs I follow religiously. That’s not to say other blogs don’t meet my criteria of “do I want to get emails every time they post”, but I’ve just connected more with them on a spiritual level if you will.
- Mind Body Swag by Lisa D. Cahue
“Who cares if anyone’s watching, dance anyway” – this quote defines Lisa. Based out of NYC Lisa inspires her followers with fashion, travel and lifestyle. I ran across Lisa’s Instagram a couple months back and have fallen in love with her style and charisma ever since. Being that she was an FIT student and I went to Iowa State University (double major in public relations and marketing with a minor in fashion design) I felt that we clicked – that is through social media. Following Lisa through her writing and sassy Instagram stories has been amazing. I’ve created a virtual friendship with her by commenting on her crazy dance moves and love for her fashion. She is someone I highly recommend following!
Photos found in “Lifestyle” category
- Kyrazayda By Kyrazayda Rodriguez
Words can’t describe what an inspiration Kyrazayda is to both her followers and me. I started following her about a year ago when I was living in Manhattan. I was drawn in by her warmth and high spirit she portrayed through her photos on Instagram. I also loved that she was so humble and so family orientated. Even while she’s currently fighting stomach cancer she still seems to have such a good attitude towards life. She is one of the reasons I decided to cut my hair and start fresh for 2018 – mind, body and spirit. Kyrazayda is an amazing influencer to follow if you need not only fashion advice but a light of positivity to your everyday life.
Photos found in “OOTD” category
- The Demeler by Lily Montasser
Jump head first into style inspiration with Lily Montasser Following Lily over the past couple of months has been a whirlwind. Getting outfit ideas from her amazing Instagram feed has been so helpful. While she was born in California, she brings me back to when I lived in NYC with her on-the-go attitude Manhattan photos. Her blog layout is so inviting and she makes you feel like you’re right there with her through her writing. I can’t wait to see what ideas she manifests in the upcoming seasons.
Photos found in “LOOKS” category
- Melo and Co By Mel
Are we twins? I think so! I recently started following Mel about a week ago and I’m obsessed to say the least! I LOVE her Instagram aesthetic because, well… it’s all my favorite colors – black and white (mainly black). Having such a monochromatic feed is extremely hard so I applaud her for having it look so cohesive and clean. I also love her writing style as it’s so similar to mine. She makes you feel as if you’ve been friends and you two are playing catch-up when you read her posts. Not to mention she has a shop connected to her blog weblink where you can purchase kids décor, art prints and stationary items like notepads. Nonetheless she looks flawless, pregnant or not!
Photos found in “Blog” category
These are the top four blogs I’ve been religiously keeping up to date with but that’s not to say there aren’t any other influencers out there that have amazing content! For example, a lot of you fashion lovers and even influencers know Instagram accounts like @songofstyle (by Aimee Song), @chrisellelim (by Chriselle Lim), @negin_mirsalehi (by Negin Mirsalehi) and @camilacoelho (by Camila Coelho). They are influencers that have been doing this for years and have built an incredible platform. But don’t forget to follow those that inspire you and you can relate to because even though the numbers on some social media accounts look ‘nice’ they’re just numbers. Some of the best social media accounts that have relatable content have less followers than you thought they would based on their work. Don’t be fooled. Until next time…
Photo found on Pinterest
Worst Dates of 2017
Hi babes! Welcome back to Trending Prosperity and if this is your first time on my page, make sure to subscribe to stay up-to-date with all the wonderful things I have planned for you guys. I want to bring light to the idea of bad dates. You read about them in Cosmo (Cosmopolitan Magazine), hear stories from friends or co-workers, or maybe you’ve been on one yourself. Regardless of the situation the point is that they suck! I’ve never been on one until recently and it was extremely eye opening. This date wasn’t bad because of the food or crappy service – it was the guy!
If you know me or anything about you then you know I’m extremely open minded. But this date tested not only my patience but challenged my understanding on guys of this generation. Yes, I’m referring to the just graduated college, still trying to figure out what I want to do, paying my student loans generation. For purpose of discussion, we’ll call this mystery guy Mike. Now Mike is a fairly attractive guy and I personally am not one to judge someone just on his or her looks. I gave Mike a chance because he had been bugging me for weeks to let him take me on a date.
Fast forwarding to the actual night of the date, I anticipated good conversation over a glass of wine and hopefully another date in the future… I was wrong. Not only was Mike socially awkward in the sense that he didn’t know how to hold a conversation but he showed up very much under dressed to this restaurant (like… just left the gym under dressed). Despite the boring exchange of words and his lack of attempt in dressing well, he had no etiquette when it comes to ending the date.
Mike made me pay for my $20 meal and drinks after HE asked me to go on a date. I haven’t talked to him since and don’t plan to anytime soon. This is a very short version of what really happened but the point is that everyone goes through shitty times in his or hers life and it can end in disappointment. While Mike wasn’t the right guy for me, I’m sure he is everything another girl is looking for. Turn every situation into a learning experience – whether good or bad. You never know what someone is going through mentally, physically or emotionally so keep that in mind and be open minded even if it means you’ll be adding that day to your list of bad dates. Until next time…
Guide to 2018 Goal Setting
Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah and welcome the weeklong celebration of Kwanzaa. Whatever religious background you come from, the one thing that remains the same is December 31st. As the year quickly wraps up you might find yourself rejoicing over the good times, finding utter disappointment because you didn’t reach your 2017 goals or perhaps both. I know for me, I’ve learned to look past the bad and acknowledge how far I’ve come. Moving back to the Midwest, changing my career path and receiving a heart transplant from my remarkable donor.
Thinking about whom and what you want to bring into the New Year can be exciting and overwhelming. But that’s why I’m here to walk you through the step-by-step process of goal-setting tips. New Years resolutions: Generally, these are habits they will try to do every day, or habits they will try to avoid for as long as they can. Unfortunately, many of these resolutions are forgotten by March. A major reason for this is that it’s deceptively difficult to develop or deny ingrained habits ‘cold turkey’. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit and 33 days to create a lifestyle. So take things one at a time – one day at a time.
- Set goals for all main aspects of your life
The Huffington Post supports this theory 100%! “We tend to set the most intense goals in the area where we want to effect the most change. We may set all our goals regarding better finances or fitness and forget to set goals in the other areas of our life.” Ugh, the worst thing you can do for yourself is to set goals unattainable and neglect areas of your life that can use some improvement. This means including goals from career, family, friends, health and fitness, education and finances. However, the trick is to make sure these goals are reasonable and attainable.
- Don’t be too serious
But how will you achieve your goals if you’re not serious? I didn’t say don’t take your goals serious, but don’t be too hard on yourself. Let things flow naturally and know that if you’re putting all your effort into them they will manifest naturally.
- Visualize your future
What you believe will become. I strongly believe that your mind has so much more control over you than most people think. I recently read a stress management article on verywell.com and they supported that same idea by saying, “Think of what you would have in your ideal life, and where you’d like to be in two, five, or even ten years, and see if your goals bring you closer to that picture. If so, they’re good goals to stick with. If you can keep in your mind the image of where you would ultimately like your goals to take you, it’s easier to stick with them.”
I encourage you to start a gratitude journal. This doesn’t have to be a fancy journal but just a notebook from your local Target or Home Goods. Write down 3 positive things that happen each day at night before you go to bed. By the end of the first week, you will be so focused on looking for the positive things that happen throughout your day that you won’t even think about the negative. Now how does this tie into goal setting? It keeps you on an affirmative wavelength. By ending your day on a good note, you become encouraged to do more, be more, and see more. Best to you in the New Year and happy goal-setting! Until next time…
Divorcing Abusive Relationships
With 2018 just days away it’s time to reflect on the good, the bad, and the down right ugly. Every year people boast about their New Year resolutions like going to the gym more, saving for that next big vacation, or investing more time into family. But what they really lack is healthy relationships with themselves and with other people.
Now I bet you thought I would be talking about marriage when you read the title “Divorcing Abusive Relationships”, but I’m not necessarily talking about that. I’m talking about relationships you’ve built over time whether its with a friend or family member that is no longer serving a purpose. Often times we get sucked into this world of “well I’ve known them for x amount of years”, but the fact of the matter is that doesn’t matter. Time means nothing and the sooner you realize that – the better.
If you’re in an abusive relationship, chances are you’ve become so accustom to it that you don’t even realize you’re allowing this person or people to abuse you. This doesn’t have to mean physical abuse but rather mental and emotional. Abusive relationships can be so dangerous and detrimental that it will eventually consume you.
Fact: Abusive people will always be abusive people. Now that’s not to say that they can’t change. Yes, they can change. But they have to willingly want to change. I feel like there’s such a big misconception in todays’ society that enlightens the idea that you can change someone. Well I have bad news – you can’t. You can’t continue to tell yourself “Well if I just love them more they’ll see how amazing I am and they’ll change.” Again, that will never happen unless him or her wants it to happen.
I completely understand that you can feel scared of letting go of a relationship that you’ve spent time, energy and money on. Or maybe you feel like you’ve failed because it didn’t work it out. But it’s important that you remind yourself that letting go of something that is no longer healthy for you or benefiting you does not make you a failure. If anything, it shows that you love and respect yourself enough to cut off those relationships that are no longer moving you forward.
Don’t ever be afraid to walk away. The worst thing you can do for yourself is to knowingly stay unhappy because you’re scared that taking that person out of your life will change your life drastically. And while it more than likely will change your life, look at it from the glass half full perspective. I promise that you will be okay. You were a completely whole person before that person ever came into your life. Yes, they may have contributed to your triumphs, but that person never made you.
Never let someone convince you that you won’t survive without him or her, or that you’ll fail in life because they “made” you, or that you can’t be happy without their presence. My mom always tells me that not only do you teach people how to treat you but also how they treat you is completely up to you. Now that’s not to say that you literally dictate how someone acts. But that you allow them to treat you a certain way based on your actions. For example, if someone is disrespecting you and you stay in that relationship, you’re allowing him or her to treat you that way. If someone is abusing your kindness and you stay in that relationship, you’re allowing him or her to treat you that way. If someone repeatedly shows you that you are only important when they need you, you’re allowing him or her to treat you that way.
Now I’ve had multiple breakups from intimate relationships and gone through a long list of divorces from friendships. Each situation was different and ended for it’s own specific reason but the good thing is that the outcome is always the same. I have never felt so relieved and at ease after ending things with people that no longer serve me.
Stop putting yourself in these situations where you know someone doesn’t have your best interest at heart, but maybe if you try harder they’ll change for you. It’s not your job to teach someone how to love you. It is not your job to remind them of what an amazing person you are and what you have to offer. The right person, intimate or not, knows that from the start. Go into the New Year on the right foot because you deserve nothing but the finest. Until next time…
Gifts Under $40
With Christmas just weeks away many of you are probably under a lot of stress. You either don’t know what to get for whom, where to get gifts, how to budget in order to get everyone a gift, or all of the above. These are all things I struggled with every year and I figured I wasn’t the only one that was trying to stretch my paychecks. So I have formulated the ultimate guide along with gift ideas that are gong to get you through every holiday season from this point on.
- Keep it simple – Often times we like to complicate things for no reason. If you’re anything like me, then you probably are a perfectionist that strives to give the best gift. Even if they’re a “picky person” which makes them hard to shop for, don’t over think it. I like to say simplicity is key in all walks of life. Applies this when you’re shopping to gifts!
- Know your budget – The truth is you can only spend what your wallet permits. Don’t try to be the person that spends hundreds of dollars on a gift knowing that that money is rent money. Your loved ones will appreciate anything you gift them, even if it’s not the new iPhone X.
- Quality over quantity – While budget is important, don’t get a bunch of ‘cheap’ gifts and think it’s okay because each person got several gifts from you. In reality, people much rather have 1-2 quality gifts that actually showed them that you tried rather than a bunch of random items from the Dollar Store.
Now here’s the fun part! I’ve been in your shoes (looking for gifts that is). I have family members that are hard to shop for (mom), friends that probably won’t use my gift, and coworkers that only want gift cards. I’ve done my research and have provided gifts for all ages and genders along with some of my favorite places to purchase them. And remember… always provide a gift receipt!
- A poster of their favorite movie, public figure, or T.V. series (AllPosters, Amazon, Target).
- A set of bath bombs (Target, LUSH).
- Portable Bluetooth speaker (BestBuy, Target).
- A perfume sampler (Sephora, Ulta).
- Engraved Flask (Etsy, Things Remembered, Williams-Sonoma).
- Candles (Anthropologie, Home Goods, Bath & Body Works).
- Playful socks (TJ Maxx, Target, Hotsox).
- A cute mug (Urban Outfitters, Society6, Amazon).
- A mason jar filled with candy (anywhere that sells candy).
- A gift card (you pick the store).
- A throw blanket (TJ Maxx, Home Goods, Marshalls).
- Alex and Ani jewelry (Saks Off 5th, Alex and Ani, Zales).
- House slippers (Urban Outfitters, Zappos, Kohl’s).
- Makeup palette (MAC, Sephora, Ulta).
- Pajamas (Victoria’s Secret, JCPenney, Macy’s).
Make this Christmas a fun time of year and not a stressful one. I hope these gift ideas put your mind and bank account at ease. The holidays are supposed to be something that is looked forward to. If you keep these guide tips and gift ideas in mind, you should have no problem gift shopping. Until next time…
I asked all of my Instagram followers what they wanted to me talk about all the year wraps up and the idea of “patience” kept coming up in each conversation I had. While I love to talk about other worldly things that are going on or life challenges we all seem to face, I felt that patience was the most fitting.
As most of you know, I got a heart transplant on October 5, 2017 so my patience with recovery mentally, physically, and emotionally has been a struggle. I recently read an article on what patience really is, what triggers lack of patience, and how to bring patience into your day-to-day life. I think this is something we all need to practice on a daily basis and with the year coming to an end, it’s something to think about in regards to 2018.
What is patience? Psychologist, Jane Bolton, defines it as, “In a word, happiness. Better relationships, more success. Well worth the effort, I’d say. But effort, indeed, it takes.
We can all work to develop more patience. An important idea here is that developing patience is just that. Developing a skill. We aren’t born with it.” So how do you obtain patience? How do you practice patience?
- Understand the addictive nature of anger and irritation.
- Upgrade your attitude towards discomfort and pain.
- Pay attention when the irritation starts.
- Practice positive self talk.
Keep things simple. There are a ton of articles and books about practicing patience but always keep in mind that what works for someone else may not work for you. Pick and choose what makes sense to you and manifest it. You have the power to control your actions and how you handle certain situations. Until next time…
PHOTOGRAPHER – Ronnie Spielman
TOP: FREE PEOPLE
WATER BOTTLE: ANTHROPOLOGY
JEWELRY: CARTIER/ ETSY
Extensive Weeks feat. P’Tula
Okay so it’s mid-week and you’re running out of options, or maybe you just don’t feel like putting all your effort into Thursdays outfit. Either way, don’t stress because there are a handful of tricks you can do to pull off the “I woke up like this” look. Seemingly enough the whole idea of wearing athletic wear outside of the gym is become more and more acceptable – and I approve. I don’t know if it’s because our lives seem to be getting busier or if we seem to be becoming lazier, but either way it’s a win for you if you like the look and don’t plan on putting much effort into your mid-week outfit.
Generally, the rule of thumb is to make sure you don’t over do it. By over do it, I am referring to two things: One, don’t do this 5 out of the 7 days a week. This is intended to be a look you can fall back on – don’t make it a crutch. Two, mix n’ match with the appropriate pieces. Sweaters, chunky cardigans, and jersey knit tops will be your best friend. I personally run to a good pair of athletic leggings, an oversized jersey knit top, a chunky cardigan, and some all black loafers to complete my ‘I really didn’t want to get out of bed’ look.
If there’s one thing in life I’ve learned its’ to not only be comfortable in your own skin, but be comfortable in what you’re wearing. There’s no worse feeling than it only being noon and your feet already have blisters because you tried to out do yourself on a Thursday morning. Comfort over everything! When you are comfortable, you are confident and when you are confident, you achieve more. This is a win-win strategy ladies; take advantage while you can!
The athletic apparel look outside the gym is perfect for those of us that like to go to the gym after running errand or what ever tasks you have to get done that day. I collaborated with P’Tula in creating the ultimate workout look. The Anna Luxe Jacket is by far the most comfortable athletic zip-up I’ve had! I’ve always struggled with other brands because they either seemed too tight or just didn’t fit right. This gives you fitted design with a looser feel. The Nicole Full Length Leggings are so simple, which ultimately creates that classic look we always want to achieve. If you know me, you know that black is my color. I decided to step out of my comfort zone with this army green and it’s given me more confidence. Sometimes change is good!
I adore the brand P’Tula because unlike other athletic brands, it’s very personal. I didn’t have to talk to a marketing manager or go through corporate when it came to exchanging emails. I talked to the inventor herself – Sami B. Sami is a RN, BSN that has created a platform outside of her day-to-day nurse practice all thanks to her clients. She is passionate about health and wellness, thus creating P’Tula. “I want our girls to feel overall amazing! Never vulnerable. Never self-conscious. I want them to feel powerful, motivated and comfortable in their P’tula. I want to offer them the best of the best – durability, comfort, softness, design, colors – just overall quality and also exclusivity.” And for that, thank you Sami. Passion To Unite & Live Active. Until next time…
PHOTOGRAPHER – Sybil Rosenau
WATER BOTTLE: TARGET
JEWELRY: CARTIER/ ETSY
Everything Knits feat. Flattered
It’s finally that time of the year! Sweaters, hot chocolate with marshmallows and whip cream, warm blankets by the fireplace, and maybe even your favorite footie pajamas. Fall and winter have always been my least favorite time of the year (besides Christmas) because of the cold weather. And not only that, but I could never find the right knits to match my outfits – and that can be frustrating. So I want to share with you how I mix n’ match my knits this season as well as my favorite places to shop to find them!
First things first, what’s up with all of this monochromatic? Red-on-red seems to be the go to look for every Manhattan fashion icon? But why red? Because it stands out. It’s bold and it speaks volumes. I recently ran across an Instagram story from one of the many well known bloggers I follow and she had the cutest monochromatic look put together and it wasn’t red… it was blue. She paired a baby blue cashmere sweater with a denim skirt and silver booties to complete the look. To spice things up a bit she threw on a black leather jacket and baker hat – timeless. I of course can’t remember her Instagram handle but if I do in the near future I’ll make sure to let you guys know!
Knits on top of knits on top of knits! I never thought I’d be the one to actually approve of this trend but I dig it! Stay with the neutrals but play around with textures. It really does draw people in considering that you’re keeping it simple when it comes to color. Rib knits and terry knits are my favorites just to name a few. Another good way to pull in ideas is to look at your peers or style icons. How are they mixing knits into their wardrobe this season and what do you have in your closet that can mimic that? Sometimes you just have to do a little thinking and digging around in your closet.
The best thing about knits is that you don’t feel the need to rip your clothes off as soon as you get home after a long day. I don’t know about you, but comfort is so important to me. I find that if you’re comfortable you’re confident and who doesn’t want to be confident? Knits are great if you’re lounging around the house and you don’t want to feel like a complete bum since it’s 2pm and you’re still in your pajamas! Since it’s getting colder out I also love a good pair of thick knit socks or warm house shoes. My house is covered in hard wood floors and marble so it can get cold (especially during December and January). My current favorite pair of house shoes is from the Indoor Collection by Flattered. Not only is their packaging to die for but also shipping is crazy fast and their shoes are made in Italy! If you know me, or if you’re new to my page (welcome), you know I’m a big advocate for quality over quantity. I love my Anna Indoor Black Suede ballet flats. You can tell time and detail was put in its’ construction. They also come with a traveling bag that also works perfectly as a dust bag. This is something that will last me a very long time and while it may run a little higher in price, why not splurge a little right? I encourage you to try the monochromatic, knit on knit trend. That way you won’t have to rush home just be comfortable – because you already are. Until next time…
The Proposal feat. Biossance
It’s so easy to get caught up in everyday life. I mean we have all these expectations to be a good girlfriend, pay your own bills, have a well paying job, finish school, and all of the above that we lose touch with what’s really important. I recently experienced a near death experience (literally) and it made me appreciate life so much more.
I realized that it’s so important to not only take care of yourself spiritually but also grasp the things around you. This can be as simple as being in the moment. Be present in the things you do. Getting lost in thought while brushing your teeth is something I used to always do. “When is that assignment due?” “What time is my doctors appointment?” Are some of the many questions I’ve asked myself in the morning rather than being present in the moment.
I have teamed up with Biossance for the best morning routine. I never used to be a morning person until recently and I find that it’s become the best part of my day (besides when I get to crawl back into my warm cozy bed). I used to wake up every morning and the first thing I would grab would be my phone. It became a force of habit motion that was toxic. Of course at the time I didn’t know it was toxic but I soon realized that when I turned to God instead of my phone. I wake up in the morning now and give thanks to God. I thank him for allowing me to see another day and walk through life with his guidance. Now I’m not telling you that you need to strengthen your love for God, but take note in your actions. What are the first things you do when you wake up?
I indulge in my morning routine by being present in each moment. Feeling my feet below me while I brush my teeth is such a subtle notion but it makes all the difference. Being present allows you to have personal time and that’s so important when this world can be so chaotic. The Squalane + Priobiotic Gel Moisturizer and Squalane + Peptide Eye Gel from Biossance are the perfect combination for morning and evening “me time”. A little goes a long way with these products and they are perfect for those that like light moisturizers that don’t make them feel weighed down. While they may seem pricey in the sense that it’s not your average Clean & Clear price tag – it’s well worth it. Biossance is an amazing brand that uses plant-based ingredients that replenish your skin with nutrients it may have lost due to age and everyday activity. I encourage you to be present in your morning routine. I anticipate that you’ll surprise yourself and realize things you never once noticed. Until next time…
Fall 2017 Wish List
Just as every year, summer has come to an end and places are starting to cool down. Surprisingly enough I’m no where near ready for fall and I don’t know if that’s because I actually enjoyed the hot summer days or if it’s because I don’t have my fall wardrobe ready. Either way, there is a list of things I have on my fall wish list. While watching Gossip Girl for the umpteenth time I had time to browse the web for looks I wanted to recreate this fall. Below are my favorites and maybe you’ll even find some to add to your wish list.
Vintage- Inspired Fur. Just how last season was about statement furs, this season it’s all about bringing it back to the basics. No frills like last season but classics that look like they were plucked from an estate sale.
$129 Forever 21
Victorian Collars. This is like the classic turtlenecks older sister. A high-neck ruffled blouse would be the perfect piece for those “I don’t know what to wear” days. Who would have known we’d be going backwards in time?
Mid-Length Skirts. I have never been a fan of these until this past spring. However designers like Christian Dior and Victoria Beckham are brining them into their fall collections. Inspired by ballet silhouettes, these calf length pieces are such flattering skirts.
$20 Forever 21
Velvet. Velvet skirts, velvet tops, velvet shoes – anything velvet! I’m so happy my favorite childhood fabric is back in style. Velvet is everywhere this fall and it will surely find it’s way into my closet.
Oversized Plaid Blazer. First off, plaid brings us back to the 70’s and oversized… well that just looks like you played dress up in your moms closet – and I’m all for it! Imagine wearing this while grabbing lunch with your girlfriends. The perfect statement piece!
$178 Banana Republic
Chelsea Boots. This is the perfect staple piece that can be carried into future seasons. Dress this up or down with jeans, trousers, or a skirt. While making a statement with the colors of your shoes works for some people, I plan to keep it simple and classic with black Italian leather.
$179 Marc Fisher
$190 Kendall & Kylie
Sheer. This seems to be the one place the nipple has been freed. The sheer top is a strategically paneled piece that is taking over all department store racks whether you like it or not. This doesn’t mean you have to free your nipples, but at least incorporate the sheer idea into your fall wardrobe.
$38 Top Shop
Everything Red. If you’ve ever been afraid to wear all one color – fear no more! Just like denim on denim, wearing all red is so hot this season (no pun intended). Mix n’ match the textures to create the perfect look.
Lace Ups. What a good way to spice up this season. I love lace up flats especially lace up heels. This adds sex appeal and levels to any outfit. Michael Kors showed this trend back in 2015 on the runway and it’s back again. If you didn’t get on the bandwagon then; don’t worry you didn’t miss your chance.
$76 Tony Bianco
$259 J. Crew
$59 Vince Camuto
Remember that fashion is all about finding what works for you and what your style is! I love connecting with others and grabbing ideas from all ends to create looks. Don’t be afraid to mix n’ match these fall must haves this season! Until next time…
PHOTOGRAPHER – Austin McDowell
BAG: BADGLEY MISCHKA
SHOES: PUBLIC DESIRE
All About “Me Time”
Taking more than I can handle used to be my cup tea. Sure I can take 17 credits, work full time, invest time into becoming a content creator, and have a social life. Reality check – that’s not real life… at least I don’t think it is. And I say that because you can’t expect to have your plate full and be able to give every little thing the same undivided attention. When you do this, you stress yourself out. You exhaust yourself physical, mentally, and emotionally.
When you make yourself a priority, not only do you benefit, but so do the people around you. If you are burned out, stressed out or overloaded, what’s left to give to others? For some, the idea of making yourself a priority may feel uncomfortable, but it is not a selfish act. I’m not suggesting you ignore or abandon the needs of others. I’m saying that you need to take better care of yourself and be the very best you can be, for yourself, and for the people in your life. It’s not selfish to give to yourself as much as you give of yourself.
Over the past couple of weeks I have been lacking self-care in the sense that I haven’t necessarily been giving more attention to others but I haven’t been giving enough time to myself. I’ve been slacking on self-awareness that I need to focus on my career and finishing my last leg of undergrad strong. So I’ve formulated the perfect list of to-dos when it comes to making YOU a priority!
- Learn how to say “NO” without feeling guilty.
This seems to be one of those things that everyone and their mom finds difficult to break. You and your friends made big plans for this upcoming weekend but you just remembered you have 10 other ‘more’ important commitments. But you can’t bail on them, right? Wrong. Now this isn’t to say that you should you make plans with everyone and then bail on them later down the road even when you knew that you wouldn’t be able to make it. But understand that saying no doesn’t always have to be a bad thing! Don’t try to do everything for the people in your life. You do not need to take on the responsibilities of others, if asked to do so. Learn to be selfish at times.
- Make “Me Time” a priority.
Don’t have a passion? Great – find it. Your “Me Time” should be as important as anything else in your life. It is a priority. And you will have something to look forward to through those challenging days! Facemasks, pedicures and manicures, and a good bottle of wine is how I like to spend my “Me Time”.
- Manage your time.
Real question… do you manage your time or does your time manage you? And before you answer that, ask yourself if you are really using your time efficiently. Are you exercising regularly? Are you getting enough sleep? These all seem like dumb or even redundant questions, but these are things that can take a toll on your everyday functionality. Try to change your schedule to make your life easier. Perhaps it is helpful to have dinner at an earlier time, or to prepare your next day’s lunch the evening before? Chores not completed, can be left for another day. Do whatever it takes to manage your time more effectively.
I could continue to go on-and-on about how what you can do to make yourself a priority, but the reality of it is that you are going to do what you want to do. Yet, the more we ignore those signals, the louder they become, until we reach a breaking point and have to make a choice. We have to slow down or stop in order to tend to our health. None of us really wants to let it get to that. So make the choice today and take care of yourself, for you. Until next time…
Marc Jacobs has finally launched their Summer 2017 Beauty Collection and us beauty fanatics couldn’t be more excited! Marc Jacobs is known for their bags, shoes, and especially watches. But one thing that is overlooked by this phenomenal designer is his amazing color palate and performance given by his beauty collection. I have had the pleasure of receiving the Re(Cover) Perfecting Coconut Setting Mist and I honestly don’t know how I’ve been living without it!
“Recover your glow, set, and perfect with this next-generation makeup setting mist that combines 24-hour performance with hydrating, skin-loving actives. This fine micro-mist delivers a healthy-looking dewy glow to your complexion, while fixing makeup so it stays put and looks fresh all day long.” I know a lot of beauty gurus rave over Mac’s Finishing Plus Setting Spray and Mario Badescu’s Facial Spray With Rose Water. And while those are both great products (don’t get me wrong), Marc Jacobs is right there with them.
The entire Summer 2017 Beauty Collection is everything you need – and more. Dew Drops Coconut Gel Highlighter, Re(marc)able Foundation in 10 different shades, Perfection Powder, Bronzing brush, and of course the Re(Cover) Perfecting Coconut Setting Mist. Coconut has and will always be your best friend. Coconut water balances your pH levels, helps battle free radical damages, and reduces acne and pigmentation. The Re(Cover) Perfecting Coconut Setting Mist can be used throughout the day as a great way to refresh your makeup and hydrate your skin.
Sephora. Every girl’s weakness! The Re(Cover) Perfecting Coconut Setting Mist is found online and at Sephora (how convenient) right at $39 USD. Just before you say that $39 USD is too over-priced for a 3.8 OZ bottle of coconut water – listen to what Sephora has to say about it. “Revive your glow, and set and perfect your makeup with this next-level setting mist. It combines 24-hour performance with hydrating, skin-loving actives. This fine, micro-mist delivers a healthy-looking dewy glow to the complexion, at the same time, locking in makeup so that it stays put and looks fresh all day long. Formulated with freeze-frame technology, it sets makeup for an entirely new sensation: Skin is left feeling comforted and nourished, never sticky or filmy. Inspired by Marc Jacobs’s love of coconut water, this refreshing spray contains five coconut actives: coconut alkanes for lasting wear, coconut milk for deep hydration, coconut water for refreshing electrolytes, coconut polysaccharides to help condition skin, and coconut-derived fragrance for a delicate, delicious experience.”
At such a fitting size, this is something that can be tossed into your bag before work or carried along for long trips. I’ve been using it once after applying my makeup in the morning and again in the afternoon if I have late night plans and need something to refresh my look. Would I purchase this in the future? Yes. Would I recommend it to a friend? Yes. Marc Jacobs will now and forever be a part of my skin care and beauty routine. Until next time…
No Make-up. No Bra. No Problem.
To wash your face with warm water or cold water? To mist your face with your favorite toner before or after you moisturize? To do a face mask once a week or twice a week? These seems to always be the pressing questions every person (girls in particular) asks themselves when it comes to crafting the perfect skin regimen. And while everyone has different daily schedules and nonetheless different skin types, I’ve formulated the perfect steps to follow for all of the above possibilities.
First things first, what are the different skin types? Everyone likes to say they have “combination skin” and while that may be true, I’ve defined the five most common skin types down below to help you better understand what you’re dealing with if you’re on the not so sure side of things.
- Dry skin: Flaky, scaly, or rough
- Oily skin: Shiny, greasy, and may have big pores
- Combination skin: Dry in some sports (typically cheeks) and oily in others such as the ‘t-zone’ (forehead, nose, and chin)
- Sensitive skin: May sting, burn, or itch after you use some makeup or other products
- Normal skin: Balanced, clear, and not sensitive
When it comes to cleansing your face, don’t just grab whatever soap is in the shower or on your sink top. But that doesn’t mean you need to spend your whole paycheck on fancy or expensive products. The key is to find the skincare products or brand(s) that work best for you and your skin type. Don’t scrub your face but gently cleanse and rinse with warm water before you pat dry.
When it comes to exfoliating or using facemasks, you should limit it to once or twice a week (depending on the oil build up your face produces). Exfoliating is essential because it removed dead skin cells, which can leave your complexion appearing dull, and can clog up pores. Before exfoliating or applying your facemask, make sure all your makeup is removed and you are working with a clean canvas. While exfoliating, be sure to get into the creases by your nose, which often get clogged up and develop blackheads.
In particular to face masks – there are many options. Peel-off masks are best for blemished skin, whereas rich, moisturizing masks are best for dry skin. They can be the best part of your beauty regimen, why not turn it into a relaxing pamper session? I personally like the Detox Clay Mask from Muddy Body. It draws out bacteria, toxins, and dirt while promoting healthy cell growth!
So many people ask me how I have such clear, glowing skin; and the answer is quiet simple. I don’t wear make-up. WTF!? Okay, that’s somewhat of a lie, but majority of the time I don’t wear makeup. I feel that makeup is suppose to enhance your natural beauty and although some people may have problematic skin, wearing layers of foundation can almost always make it worse. Now that the days seem to get warmer, I find myself embracing my natural beauty. I’ve always been a part of the itty-bitty titty community so I rarely wear a bra and applying makeup seems almost more of a chore (unless I’m being extra and looking for that good highlight). The Muddy Body brand helps me keep my skin clear because their products have acne and blackhead fighting ingredients. And in order for you to draw out impurities in your skin, you need to start with your inner self. You are beautiful just the way you are – stop being so hard on yourself. Until next time…
USE DISCOUNT CODE ‘BIANCAEBAKO’ TO RECIEVE 10% YOUR ODER!!!
Signs The BOY You’re Talking To Is A F*ckboy
He doesn’t let you touch his phone – red flag. His phone is always facing down – red flag. If says, “come over, lets watch Netflix” – red flag. If he texts you anytime after 10pm – red flag. If he ghosts on you mid conversation and picks up hours later where the conversation ended without an explanation – red flag. He goes for sex right away – red flag. I’m so sorry ladies, but it’s not what you think it is with this guy. And I know it hurts because you want to believe all the sweet nothings he tells you, but take it from someone who has chosen all the wrong fish in the sea. What I’m about to tell you are the ultimate signs of a f*ckboy.
Men work in reality. Women work in ideality. And it sucks because you are such a strong, independent woman that wants an honest, genuine man. Now I understand being alone is hard and having a man cures that. But you should never be giving 80 and getting 20. I say that because even though all things in life come with compromise, you should never feel like you’re running a marathon that never seems to end – end in a faithful relationship that is.
You want to believe that he’s busy with his personal life. That this isn’t how he really is. You don’t want to go to your friends about the same guy with the same problems because you’re afraid that you’ll really start to believe all the truth they tell you… The truth you’ve been running away from. You’ve invested weeks, if not months, into this thing you and him have. You don’t want to throw the towel in now because what if he’s finally going to ask you to be his girlfriend this weekend or has something cute planned. And besides all his damn near intolerable flaws, he’s perfect. But while you get blind sided by the idea of his perfect, there’s a better perfect.
Either you’re reading this nodding your head because you’ve been here before or feeling empty because you’re in the situation now and you don’t know what to do. Relax…This is all a learning experience. I understand that you have wants and expectations of the man you want to be with, but you can’t change anyone’s character. If he tilts his phone when you two are together so you can’t see what he’s doing – let him. If he doesn’t call you back even though he promised he would – let him. If he sweet talks his way out of the “What are we?” questions – let him. Let him do these things because he is showing you the type of person he is. Don’t fight that.
Men have self-control for something if they really want it, especially if waiting is what it’s going to take to get it. A perfect example… A guy will wait and save for 3 months for some Jordans then wait in line the day of for 6 hours to get them. But then turn around and say “you’re trippin” when he can’t have sex with you the first night. And it’s always 1 of 2 things when this happens; either he doesn’t want what you want or in his eyes you’re not worth the wait. And in either case he’s not worth the rush.
If you ever have questions about how a guy feels about you – ask his actions. Because a lot of women get caught up with guys that make them feel like the next runner up or just another girl on his team. But they don’t want to believe that because in the beginning he was telling you everything. “You’re the baddest” “You’re wifey” “You’re the best”. However, when they’re with these guys they start becoming inconsistent – they start making them feel average. And then she starts feeling like she needs to lose a little weight here, gain a little weight there. Stop letting these guys leave you lost in the grey area! I don’t care what the situation is, if a guy wants to be with you… have you be his girlfriend, his wife… he will. End of story.
You deserve a man that will open doors for you. You deserve a man that will call you back when he says he will. You deserve a man that won’t let you go to bed upset. You deserve a man that wants to show you off to all his friends. You deserve a man that will tell you you’re beautiful everyday. You deserve a man that will text you good morning and good night. You deserve a man that plans dates with you that don’t involve Netflix. You deserve a man that’s going to run you a bath when you’ve had a bad day. You deserve a man that loves and respects you. But you can’t have that man until you let go of the boy you’re with. Until next time…
How To Eat Breakfast For Those Who Don’t Do Breakfast
A nutritionist breakfast or Instagram? I’ll take Instagram, please and thank you! Oh whatever, don’t act like laying in bed scrolling your Instagram feed sounds less inviting them getting out of your warm sheets and attempting to make perfect over easy eggs. I’m sorry but there is no meal harder for me to stomach than breakfast. There. I admit it. And while every dietitian says avoiding breakfast isn’t a healthy habit… it still doesn’t put me in the mood to gorge a big bowl of cereal right when I wake up. I’m going to make the educated guess that I’m not the only one that doesn’t wake up craving a big breakfast. So for the group of us that aren’t breakfast eaters or morning people at that, I’m going to show you how to eat breakfast since we don’t do breakfast.
First things first, when you wake up in the morning your stomach is empty and hasn’t quite woken up either! A good trick to kick things into gear is to drink a glass of ice lemon water before you brush your teeth or get in the show. Having the water cold will increase the amount of calories you burn throughout the day and the lemon will help your body absorb your breakfast nutrients better!
Okay so you’ve tried the whole lemon water tactic and you still can’t seem to get past 3 bites of oatmeal. Like all good things, give it time. If you’re someone that likes to lie in bed until the last minute then your body will probably never be ready for breakfast. Get moving! Get up. Shower. Take your time getting dressed. By doing all these things you’re giving your body time to realize that you’re awake – therefore your stomach telling you you’re hungry. Reader’s Digests says, “There aren’t many balanced breakfasts that come together faster than pouring out cereal, adding a handful of fruit and nuts on top and splashing milk over it. But if you just aren’t in the mood right away, eat it once you get to work, or fill your cereal bowl the night before so when you see it, your stomach might want it in the morning.”
Once you get into the habit of fuelling up in the morning, your body will start to crave it, and your caloric intake at nighttime should decrease because your body expects it will be refueled after rest. The best thing to eat is a combination of protein and carbohydrate for maximum energy. It doesn’t have to be ‘breakfast food’ at all. Food is still food, and if it’s healthy leftovers that were good for you at dinner, it’s still good food at breakfast. All in all, be patient with your body. Eating breakfast in the morning is still something I’m working on and just like any other endeavor you’ve had to learn – it takes practice. I’ve listed some awesome grab n’ go breakfast combinations I live by along with some good informational websites for you down below. Always remember, energizing your body with good food throughout the day is just as important as good skincare products. Until next time…
- Chocolate peanut-butter protein shake
- Half whole grain bagel, glass of orange juice, fruit
- Scrambled eggs, slice of toast, fruit
- Yogurt, handful of berries, granola
- Apple slices with peanut-butter
Addicted To Pain
I apologize for not bringing you this post yesterday. I guess I’ve been trying to find the right words to type to help you get through whatever it is you’re going through. I’ve also been trying to figure out why the human population likes to invest time into things that don’t make us happy? Why do you do things that don’t make you happy? I know that’s a personal question, and it’s really not my place to ask… but ask yourself. Aren’t we all suppose to be in control of our happiness? So then why are we so addicted to pain?
Why do we tolerate ourselves to find happiness in things other than ourselves? I understand that things can enhance your happiness, but why are we allowing relationships, financial earnings, career choices, and everything else under the sun to push us through the day and permit us to sleep at night? Insanity. I think the biggest problem is we get caught up in things like what it could be rather then what it is. I’m sure at this point your questioning why it is you really go back to toxic situations.
It’s comfortable. It knows you. You know it. And it understands you (for the most part). You tell yourself it’ll be different this time around. And because you trust it, you go back to it – expecting change. The change never happens though, the old routine comes back slowly but surely, and soon you’re back where you started. So you end it but your second guessing habits creep back in with the same scenarios and just like before; you take it back. Even though deep down inside you know it’ll end in pain, you don’t care. Because in these subtle moments you feel wanted. And that’s enough for the time being.
You are a caring, considerate person, who likes to see the best in everything. You don’t like to give up, especially on something you love and care about so dearly. And that’s okay because that shows resilience and loyalty. You don’t run away when times get tough. You just want something that’s different. You need someone that’s ready. Needs someone that listens. You need someone that trusts you. Need someone that loves you right. You need something to hold on to. Need someone that’s strong. You need something that gives you a different feeling. The problem is that you’re not showing this care and consideration to yourself and that’s toxic. Who would have known you were the cause of your suffocation?
If something or someone constantly makes you unhappy, then you need to build up the courage to let whatever it is go. In the long run, whatever is meant to be yours will be yours. So stop beating yourself up and being unhappy with yourself. If you are doing everything in your power to be the best person you can be, then you are perfect. Stop wishing you looked like someone else. Stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you. Stop hating your personality, quirks, and body – love them. Without those things you wouldn’t be you and why would you want to be anyone else? Be confident in who you are. Smile. It’ll draw people in. If anyone hates on you because of how happy you are with yourself… let them. It’s none of your business anyway. I don’t want you to depend your happiness on anyone or anything anymore.
If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror. It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It’s necessary. Don’t you want to be happy? Until next time…
I Hooked Up With A Girl
What if we really were meant to be? What if what everyone has been telling us is a lie? Or maybe it’s not a lie, and it’s just their truth. What if I told you how I really felt? That I’m so in love with you that it makes my stomach feel empty and mouth water like before you throw up because you’ve had too much to drink. What if I told you that I want you, but I also want to get over you, and neither are happening. What if I told you even though all these things are true… I hooked up with a girl?
You would probably laugh, right? You’d deny my statement and force me to show you a picture of her. If you were my best friend you’d ask, “Did you like it?” If you were my ex you would question me and wonder if I’d ever have a 3-some. Or maybe you’d think it’s gross and tell me that same sex genders aren’t suppose to do that. Because it’s ‘unethical’. That it doesn’t follow Adam & Eve etiquette.
I don’t know if I can’t stop thinking of you or the girl from 2 nights ago. Or maybe I can’t stop thinking about the feeling of being wanted. Of being touched. I don’t know if I’m missing you or just the feeling of being wanted by you… so I settled for her. But you not wanting me was the beginning of me wanting myself (how ironic), so thank you.
Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple. She gave me everything you didn’t. Everything you couldn’t. But how could she do that if it was just a hookup? How could she touch me in places you never have? Do things you’ve never done. It was only one time but it was everything. It gave me that bittersweet feeling you get when you know you’re going to miss that moment, but you’re still living it. The worse part is that I wanted to be drunk. I wanted to not remember the little details like the necklace she was wearing or how many wrinkles it took to create her smile. But I remembered all of it. And the truth about it all is that memories warm you up from the inside, but they also tear you apart.
I keep telling myself that it’s just a phase. That I’m in love with you and you’re in love with me. And it’s like a goddamn tragedy because I’m tricking myself into believing what society wants me to believe. But what if everyone is wrong and we aren’t meant for each other? I want to text you so bad because I don’t want to live in regret but I can’t keep lighting myself on fire for things that don’t even keep me warm. I keep staring at my ceiling waiting to wake up because this is all a dream, right? This can’t be my reality…
Well it is. Everything about it is. And that’s okay! I bet you’re wondering if I really did hookup with a girl. If I really did love someone or something but did something completely out of the norm. I bet when you read the title of this post you made assumptions and had your own judgments. And while your opinion is important, it’s your opinion. And I’m so sorry to disappoint you, but I didn’t hookup with a girl. But I have been hooked on things that everyone tells me to ‘get over’.
If you’re questioning anything because of societies uncertainty, you’re questioning the wrong person. You need to ask yourself, “Is this what I want?” No one can make you inferior without your consent. Your perception is your reality. You create your own happiness. And don’t judge someone because of the life choices they make with their life. Whether it’s sexuality, relocating for a job, getting back with your ex, calling your mom even though you haven’t talked to her in years, or any of the above… If it will change the person you are for the better, do it. If there is something you’ve wanted to do or someone you’ve wanted to talk to – do it.
I don’t ask for much from you, and if we’re being honest I don’t really ask for anything. But I will ask for this one thing. Document the moments you feel most in love with yourself – what you’re wearing, who you’re with, what you’re doing. Recreate it and repeat it. Until next time…
OTHER JEWELRY: CARTIER/ ALEX AND ANI
Forget about him. If only it were that easy right? Clearly you care about this guy very much and you’re confused as to why he’s not responding to your texts, or maybe you’ve gone through this in the past and want to know what you could have done differently… Perhaps you’ve never been in any of the above situations and you’re just curious as to what the hell this post is really about. Whatever reason it is that brought you here is none of my business, but I will be happy to tell you that you’re not alone. Welcome to guy 101 with yours truly.
Guys are simple creatures but the female population likes to complicate things by adding continuous terms and conditions. WTF? Yes I said the female population likes to complicate things. I know, I get it, you’re probably like “why in the hell would you defend such a self-centered, egocentric, dominating gender?” But just hear me out. We women love to live in the world of what ifs. What if I go out my way and do something nice for him like make him dinner or do his laundry? That’ll make him like me right? And while that may be true, the sad thing is that men don’t think like that. To be honest, they don’t think at all.
They are a part of the go-with-the-flow social class. They don’t like to obscure things by making hard-set commitments or overthinking things such as “What are we?” But a part from that, there is a fine line that differentiates men and women when it comes to relationships or that weird in-between stage before you’re actually in a relationship with that person. Vulnerability. If a woman sees potential, they will put everyone else on hold and give all efforts into that one person. A man, however, will play around with many to maximize what’s best for him. Selfish much?
Majority of you have probably been in the situation of talking to a guy routinely and then all of a sudden he just… stops responding. Or maybe he’s still responding but it’s different. He’s not as enthusiastic or doesn’t necessarily text you “good morning” but rather “hey”. You want to ask him what the hell is going on but you don’t want to sound crazy. I mean, technically, you two aren’t even really together. For all you know he could be talking to 3 other women and it’s not really your place to ask. Or maybe you two are in a committed relationship and you feel like he’s giving you a little too much space. Whatever the situation, there are three things he’s probably thinking to consider:
- Sense of entitlement – He feels as though he is entitled to do these things because you tend to follow his lead. He is always the one making the first move (weekend plans, where to eat, texting first, etc.).
- Physical dominance – Men love to be in control no matter the situation. They don’t like to feel like they don’t have a grip on things. So maybe he wants to respond but he’s just making you sweat a little before responding.
- “I’m kinda talking to her” – Most, if not all, women fall into this category. He’s just talking to you so he doesn’t feel the need to respond to you. He’s realizing that he actually really likes you and doesn’t like the feeling of feeling weak. So he talks himself out of falling for you and seeks to keep his options open.
When he texts you goodnight at 8 o’clock he’s on a date with someone else. When he says he’s going out with the boys he’s probably going out with the boys and some girls you have no idea about. When he cancels on you it’s probably because he doesn’t want to hang out with you. Wrong. Stop making up these scenarios in your head. It does nothing for you but take away your happiness and peace. Don’t allow him to consume you. If he doesn’t call, go to sleep. If he doesn’t text back, put your phone away and have a fantastic day anyway. If he acts distant when you are with him and refuses to tell you what is wrong, don’t wait for him, go home and do something you love. If he tries to teach you a lesson through the silent treatment, ignore him completely. If he plays with your feelings constantly, walk away from him. I cannot stress this enough, you live for YOURSELF! He is a secondary character in the store of your life. Do not allow him to turn you into a secondary character in your own book. Until next time…
Confessions of a Sidechick
It’s 2:17am after bar close and I’m texting your boyfriend. Well, maybe not YOUR boyfriend, but someone like you. He gave me his number earlier tonight and we kept making eye contact across the bar while I laughed at my friends’ lame hookup from the other night. You have no idea that the guy you love is currently telling me what he wants to do to me. Sending me wink eye emojis and insisting that I come over. Yeah, I’m the sidechick.
I’m not a whore, although you might call me one. I’m not even a bitch – I’m actually pretty nice. I have family and friends that love me, I’m not in a sorority, and if we’re being honest I don’t even really fit the “other girl” stereotype. I don’t have guys flooding my DM’s, I’m not good at getting the right lighting for my Instagram selfies, and when it comes to dating I’ve only had 2 real boyfriends.
I’m not special. I’m not smarter than you, or prettier than you, or better in bed. My goal isn’t to take someone home after a night of partying. I don’t have one-night stands. I’m not a slut. I’m pretty basic, I promise. But your boyfriend isn’t the first taken guy that’s done this to me.
A lot of my friends would never be this person. As soon as they find out a guy is in a relationship, they swipe delete his texts. They say it’s disgusting. They would never entertain the idea of starting something with someone that’s unavailable. My other friends think it’s because I have “commitment issues”. That I like the thought of a guy off limits – like it’s a game. Even though I know it’s not going to go anywhere, I’m still attracted to him.
It’s an alter ego thing. I could be offering something you can’t or maybe it’s the fact that it’s something new for him. The inner teenager in me screams ‘This means I’m pretty right?’ Because he wants me. And even though he may not care much about my childhood, or what my favorite color is, or my biggest fear… it’s still attention.
You’re probably fast asleep at this point. He told you he was going to bed early because he had a long day. Or maybe he played the whole “I’m out with my boys. Have fun tonight I’ll text you in the morning”, which made you feel special because he’s already telling you about the next time he’s going to talk to you. You speak so highly of him to your friends because when you two are together it’s nothing less then perfect. He knows you like no one else does, your mom loves him and your dad approves, and you couldn’t imagine life without him.
He loves you – at least he says he does. It’s more then sex with you two. You want him to ask you to marry him down the road in some cheesy, majestic way. This is the guy you want to raise kids and plan retirement with.
But, you see… there’s me. And I want to make it clear that I’m not laughing about it or trying to break you two up. I just seem to be missing the part of me that cares about you. That’s not to say I’m heartless… I have a heart. A big one at that! I donate to charity, cry at those animal cruelty commercials, and get so emotionally invested in chick-flicks. But you? You’re not real to me. I’ve never met you. I don’t even know your name. And somehow that makes it all okay.
It allows me to be the sidechick with no guilt. My only problem is that even if I do manage to make it over to his place tonight, I won’t be able to see him when I want. He’s going to keep posting pictures of you two on Facebook and he probably has something big planned for your birthday. Perhaps it would be different if I’d been cheated on, but I haven’t, so maybe I just can’t comprehend the pain that comes with the discovery of infidelity.
Supernatural shit aside, there’s a lot of reality we need to address. If you’re the sidechick, it’s important to know that you will always be second best. And if that’s not enough for you, that adrenaline will wear off and his energy sneaking around with you will eventually run out. To the girl that may or may not know about his late night sex with the other girl – you’re still beautiful. And even though you want to blame all your relationship problems on her, who’s really to blame? We all have issues and we’re all human. Last but not least, to the guy that seems to get every girl he wants. Your luck will eventually dissipate. Things are sweet now but don’t push your odds. Regardless of feelings, this is going to get old. You can only be a player for so long. Until next time…
Disclaimer: This is a fictional story created to demonstrate relationship issues in today’s society.
5 Amazing Apps For Anyone Living With Anxiety
Coming from a girl that suffers from anxiety, I get it. It’s easy to get wrapped up in everyday activities and take time for yourself. From social life, to school, to work, it can all be very overwhelming. And while anxiety may not be the best thing to deal with, the good news is that there are so many options to choose from in terms of stress and anxiety. That’s why I have complied a list of amazing apps for both iPhone and Android users that can help you feel more relaxed and at ease.
Turn rare quiet moments into meditation with Headspace. It is the perfect app for anyone that who wants to focus on their inner peace with different techniques by focusing on what matters to you. Like most apps, it’s free and comes with a variety of options but for those of you that want a little more don’t hesitate to subscribe.
Pacific is anxiety, depression, and stress management all in one! It provides psychologist-designed tools to address your situation by using cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness mediation, relaxation, and mood/ health tracking.
Relax is a good stress and anxiety relief app for those that are looking to de-stress through breathing and meditating exercises. It is doctor recommended and may be one the harder apps to get the hang of (in terms of focusing on your breathing and not your thoughts). Overall it’s a good app for those that are looking for me time and not to mention it’s free.
3 minute meditations by Aura are nice for those that don’t have time to be alone for a long period of time practicing breathing techniques and other stress releving mechanisms. It is the perfect “whatever mood you’re in, whenever you need” app that allows users to track how they’re feeling throughout the day and then reflect on it during a weekly/ monthly basis. Track your mood trends, what triggers them, and seek motivation reminders through Aura.
I don’t think the title of the service could be anymore obvious! Like similar apps, Calm helps users learn the life-changing skill of meditation. But unlike the other apps, it introduces relaxing nature sounds and scenes to help you sleep and wonder off into dreamland. This is a good app for someone that is looking for something to help with unwinding after a tough and stressful day.
I know that stress, anxiety, depression, and anything else that falls into that pool of unanswered questions can be hard and scary at times. But it’s important to remember to stay positive and know that you’re not going through it alone. These are all good apps for people that don’t even have anxiety or depression and just want something to take their mind off things. In the realm of things, remember that you’re thoughts can be your worst enemy but your reality can be your biggest escape. Until next time…
Boss Brains feat. LIVELY
Boss lady definition: THE woman who is in control. People who have never her see her and feel the need to respect her, and do. Runs the show, is cool and collected, and gets the job done. Confident, never looks down. Depends respect and gets it. Because she demands respect, and gets it, she is the Boss Lady. The author, Omar Tyree, of Boss Lady says, “I de-emphasize the word “bossy” and embrace the term “Boss Lady.” I define boss as a woman who takes responsibility for her actions, recognizes her purpose and work towards living a life that consist of being a servant leader. We can campaign to ban the word bossy but the most important thing we need to do is to teach girls to be a Boss. We have to teach them to walk in their God given talents, skills and abilities. By doing this we are essentially highlighting skills that will make them productive citizens in our society.”
But now that boss lady has been defined, how do you become one? For lack of better words, how do you run sh*t?! There are 3 steps into becoming a boss lady and what a better way to embrace your inner boss by feeling completely confident and beautiful in your skin. WEARlively is a brand that I stand close to because of what they stand for – inspire. “LIVELY is inspired by what we believe makes women sexy today; smart, healthy, active and outgoing. We are delivering bras and undies that blur the aesthetic lines of lingerie, active, and swim, taking the best elements of high-style and comfort from each category.” I’ve embraced my inner-boss through all aspects with WEARlively.
Here are the 3 tips to prepare you ladies to be a boss lady –
- Develop a boss lady mindset:Huffington Post believes that the best way to master this is to know that you are smart, you are a leader; you can do anything you set your mind to. I believe that your biggest competitor is yourself. Indulge in the idea that you are a role model and change your mindset to the mindset of someone you wish to be.
- The power of words:Ladies, learn the power of your mouth. What you say will become. Understand the impact of negative words. A queen never lowers herself or her standards to compete with those that aren’t on the same frequency as her. For example: If someone says, “you are so bossy” respond with, “I am glad you noticed my leadership skills”. The bottom line is sometimes people will use words to get a rise out of you – rise above it.
- Recognize strengths and develop gifts:Embrace positive experiences and learn what your strengths and weaknesses are. Your strengths are things that should not only help you but other ladies that see you as a role model. And while you may be a boss lady (or on your way to being one), don’t hesitate to seek help on your weaknesses. The strongest people are the ones that ask questions.
Until next time…
What Happened During New York Fashion Week 2017
Once again, the chaos is back! And as fashion week wraps it’s self up we all start to get blurred vision on what really happened over the last 8 days. I know that last fashion week I gave you guys’ play-by-play footage of this mayhem because I was living in the mess but unfortunately this time around I’m giving you guys behind the scenes details from hundreds of miles away. But don’t worry; I’m always on top of things!
Spring New York Fashion Week 2017 started bright and early at 11 a.m. Wednesday, February 15th with Mr. Martin. And over the course of the weekend we experienced Calvin Klein’s collection, Kate Spade, J. Crew, and Alexander Wang. While we are all anxious for the last two days with Derek Lam, Yeezy Season 5, and Marc Jacobs I think it’s important to talk about the conversations that happened in the front row, who wore what, and what to expect come Fall New York Fashion Week 2017.
First things first – who sat where? I wasn’t able to sit row this time around because I had some other underlying things to take care of, but I was also kept in Kylie Jenner and Nicole Richie’s conversations. While nothing was thrown (that we know of) and there were no fistfights, there were some tears. If you’re unaware, there is a trifecta effect going on right now; it’s revolutionary. Kendall Jenner, Gigi Hadid, and Bella Hadid are changing the culture. Bella in particular is having a winning season. She’s starred in nearly every other ad campaign and walked in back-to-back shows during NYFW. However she got emotional when she walked for two designers this season…
Showing her sentimental side by walking in feminist tribute for Prabal Gurung on Sunday. This presentation was emotional in the sense that models marched in tees with empowering political slogans that said, “The Future is Female” (what Bella wore) and “I Am an Immigrant”. After the show she said, “I started crying because it was such a beautiful, moving show.” The next water-flow of tears was during the Oscar de la Renta show. Bella expressed her outlook by saying, “I mean, literally, I also cried! I don’t know if it’s just a very emotional week, but that show has always been something really big to me. It’s such an iconic brand and I’ve always looked up to the designers. I cried when I got the show in general, and then when I heard I was closing, I was at a loss for words.” Who would have guessed a models source of tears would be from inspiration and empowerment and not from heels 2 sizes too small?!
As usual, all the A-list bloggers, influencers, editors and celebrities sat front row for all the shows and watched memorable presentations from various designers. With your social media platforms clogging with overwhelming information, it’s hard to filter out the “who cares” information from the “holy sh*t” material (aka Rihanna sightings). So to ensure you receive everything you should know, I’ve complied a list of things that you should take from Spring New York Fashion Week 2017.
- A trend that’s probably already in your closet… The white button-down shirt. This look took over the runway and it’s a trend the average human can adopt due to its affordability.
- The western look. If you haven’t invested in a leather vest or cowboy boots; this would be the time to do it.
- VELVET. My obsession for velvet has emerged from 5th grade and I’m glad it’s finally socially acceptable to wear bright pink velvet crop tops again.
- Fishnet stockings! I’m sure you’ve seen the fishnet stockings under boyfriend jeans on many well acclaimed Instagram accounts. Well to clear your cautious, they’re not crazy. This is a HUGE rave this year.
- Suits with sheer tops. The craze over sheer tops started last August and it’s now evolving into something more.
Like all things, it’s important that you cater things to your preference and what you’re comfortable with. While Kim Kardashian might wear certain things that are in trend doesn’t mean you need to adopt that same trend. Make it unique to you. Until next time…
PHOTOGRAPHER – Paige Amdahl and personal source
Why I Owe Him My Career
Responding to overdue emails at 2:18am made me realize that there was more than just me to applaud for my accomplishment. I mean yeah my friends, family and outside sources were all stepping-stones to my success, but there was someone that was a key component. I hate to admit it but it’s the truth. I owe him everything.
In 2015 I created Trending Prosperity but March 13th of 2016 is when I actually bought my website, reached out to a photographer, and recruited my friend to be my stylist. I had no idea what I was doing. A lot of blogging is trial and error so that’s exactly what I did. I attempted to do different aesthetics and looked for ways to find who I really was in the creative spectrum of things. Come June I had established a platform and that’s when he came in my life.
God or whatever supernatural force you believe in has a weird way of working things out. This boy came into my life and created a foundation of who I am now. I didn’t know that at the time but reflecting back now it all makes sense. He was the source of all my inspiration. Times at the pool over cheap liquor and mornings sleeping in laughing over stupid things that happened the night before were all things that shaped my fashion and lifestyle posts. I confined in him for all support and feedback because he was someone I trusted. He was someone that I had the utmost respect for so his opinions on my topics meant the greatest. He was everything – inside and outside of my career.
Come August I had written several blog posts with his personal statements and he had been forced to read multiple of my drafts. I moved to NYC fall semester in hopes of becoming something (and sure enough I did). Fashion week, A$AP Rocky, and rooftop bars were just a minor portion of things I would talk to him about on my Uber rides home. Despite all the people I hung out with and multiple opportunities to venture out with other guys he was always the one I wanted.
Like we all know, things don’t always work out the way we plan and things fell apart. I was completely distraught because this is was someone I ran to in regards to good and bad things that happened in my life. At this point I was working on pitching stories to international fashion magazines like Cosmopolitan, InStyle, and Seventeen. I drafted a story on a Thursday night just in case I was thrown into the situation of needing to give one of the publications an idea. Well… one publication eventually got their hands on the story. Yippee right?
This story that was given to the well-known publication was a story on him. It was a story that explained our relationship and what diminished it. It illuminated the idea behind why college relationships aren’t shit unless both parties want the same thing. It justified my frustration on how hurt I was because I had invested so much time and effort into him. This story on him presented me with a freelance contract, which was what I always wanted. I always wanted to write for a notorious fashion publication. But now he will always be in the picture. All interviews, public speaking, and questions will always bring him into discussion. Even though he’s not someone that I will share laughs with after meetings, he’ll always be someone that’s a part of my journey. I thank him for everything he’s done for my career and although the ending was not something I predicted, I’m happy it happened the way it did. People really do come into your life for specific purposes so don’t let your opinions overshadow that. Until next time…
All About My Zoe Kravitz Braids
I know I haven’t been around since the Vietnam War and I’m so sorry. The truth is I haven’t been feeling all that creative since I moved back from Manhattan. It’s like I had all these expectations of things I was going to do and where I was going to pull my inspiration from. But once I actually got here and nonetheless got back in the routine of being an everyday American college student, all that went right out the window. Thankfully, God sent me one of my really good friends from L.A. to inspire me with motivational tips and tricks that I can carry on even after I graduate and move back to the big Apple. And while this may seem like a post on post-partum depression, I actually one to answer and address one of the many common questions I get – how do you maintain your staple piece (braids)?
A couple months ago I started working with a natural hair care company called GirlandHair. “The story of Girl+Hair (GirlandHair) starts in 2009 when Founder, Dr. Camille Verovic, former marketing professional turned doctor, sought out to find healthy products to care for her natural hair after her “big chop”. Because of her busy life style, protective styling has always been a great solution. Depending on the season or work schedule ahead, she would choose a preferred protective style, such as hair extensions, crochet braids, wigs, braids, or weaves.” But the problem that Camille found was that there was no hair care product that had been created to create your hair while in a protective style, thus leading her to creating the GirlandHair line.
Since December I have been using the Restoring Hair Balm and has been a lifesaver! Although I have been and advocate of organic coconut oil and Aragon Oil products, they don’t make my hair feel or smell the same way the Restoring Hair Balm does. It comes in a small bottle that has an application nozzle as the source of getting to the product, which is perfect for getting under cornrows and applying to the parts of your hair. With such a light consistency, I was really surprised when I found out it has castor, shea, Abyssinian, and olive oil in it. I literally just apply this balm to my scalp every other night either before bed or in the morning before I start my day.
A part from the Restoring Hair Balm, they also provide 3 different hair care kits that each have different products in them depending on your needs. Things that consist of these hair care kits (besides the Restoring Hair Balm) are their Clarifying ACV Rinse, Sulfate-Free Cleanser, and Leave-In Conditioner. Over all I am really impressed with this hair care line. It’s at a perfect price point for the things it achieves and is perfect when it comes to keeping my Zoe Kravitz’s braids in tack! Until next time…
In Bed: With Bianca
For whatever reason, sex is the most frowned upon conversation among the younger generation yet it’s so intriguing and inviting. To the newer college population (freshman), college hookup culture can feel like a huge question mark with three options: have some one-night-stands, find the person you’re going to marry, or never kiss a soul. While the social atmosphere is different at every school – love, sex, and dating (and questions about all three) are a part of many students’ college experiences. So I have taken it upon myself to cut through all the irrelevant questions and jump to the ones that really matter. In bed: with Bianca.
For most social posts, such as this one, I always reach out to the relevant population and get insight from them. And while I made sure to do that because I believe multiple opinions is better than one, I want to start by giving you my two cents. For once I’m going to let you guys in a little more on my personal life and answer most, if not all, the personal questions that flood my inbox and DM’s. First things first – how often do you have sex? This is an extremely hard question to answer because it’s never constant. It really depends if I’m with someone and where I am in my personal space (on the road, working, etc.). Why don’t you have a boyfriend that way you can get it whenever you want? LAUGH OUT LOUD. I don’t find the need to settle with someone just for sex and I feel like a lot of ladies in this day and age are settling. That makes me cringe! Surprisingly enough sex isn’t everything. What do you look for in a sex partner? Comfort. I will not have sex with you if you’re too pushy. I need to feel safe with you, as should other girls have the same standards. Never sell yourself short!
Junior socialite and personal friend from University of Minnesota has similar thoughts on sex and sex partners. “I think it’s important to experiment but I think safely needs to be taken more seriously. College students are having more sex and are caring less about protecting themselves. Safely is different if you have one partner or 15 other pals. I think people are doing it too casually and just drunk doing it. Like I don’t understand how that benefits anyone. Wouldn’t you rather have someone and experiment with that person and feel comfortable rather than having meaningless sex with a bunch of strangers?
And although most of you ladies might be clapping from joy and nodding your heads, I think it’s fair to get a males opinion – I mean it’s only right since they’re the ones that are in our beds at the end of the night. Senior athlete from UCLA agrees… but disagrees. “Yeah it’s nice to have someone constant but we’re young. I think it’s important to have multiple partners that way you know what you really like. I don’t want to get married anytime soon so I don’t see the need to keep things with one girl unless I really have feelings for her. I get why girls don’t want guys to have multiple sex partners but how will we be faithful and committed to you unless we know that you’re what we truly want?”
At the end of the day, never think it’s a competition. I know it’s really easy to get caught up in your friends weekend fling but that’s their fling not yours. Dance floor makeouts at parties can end at dance floor makeouts. They don’t have to go anywhere else. I personally don’t see the need to compete with anyone else when it comes to your sex life, whether it is a teammate or best friend. I can still count ever sex partner I’ve ever had from the first to last and I find no shame in that. Whenever you find yourself in some random bed with a guy that barely remembers your name or with your significant other, make sure to be vocal about your wants and needs because your sexual satisfaction matters. And the last and most talked about question – since you’re in contact and hang out with a lot of celebrities, who have you had sex with? I never kiss and tell (wink). Until next time…
PHOTOGRAPHER – Brooke Bovee
Featured: Mikhaela Denny
Why Hooking Up With Your Ex May Not Be A Bad Idea…
I’ve had major writers block the past two weeks and while I was mopping around my house avoiding my computer by all means, I got the idea of writing about the nasty thought of hooking up with an ex. I’m not advocating backsliding, or getting back together with your ex, or having sex in the hopes that it will somehow lead to the two of you getting back together. However, hooking up with your ex can be like passing by your neighborhood Starbucks: It’s there and it’s familiar, so why wouldn’t you pop in for some hot chocolate? On the other hand, it’s kind of a potential minefield. There are feelings to consider, and oh yeah, the fact that you broke up might be a good reason to stay away.
Frank from Cosmo even says it himself, “If you’re just getting out of a long-term relationship, the transition can be absolutely terrifying. All of the sudden, you’re going from cuddling, happy times, always having weekend plans or a date to a wedding to being thrust out into a cold, uncaring world where you actually have to meet new people.” As long as you’ve had an amicable breakup, there’s no harm in calling up your ex for some quality time and a quickie. But I want to warn you of 3 simple rules:
- Don’t go on actual dates: That is the ultimate trap into muddling everything up. That it’s just sex occasion just turned into I want him back. It’s impossible to predict when one of you will meet someone and move on, but the second one of you starts getting wanderlust, terminate this sex pact.
- Don’t use it as a crutch: Frank from Cosmo says, “ It’s really easy to realize that you’ve essentially got the best of both worlds here: You’re single and independent, and yet you’re still getting some on the regular. It’s not a sustainable system. The two of you will not be booty-calling each other into your golden years. Accept that.”
- Remind yourself why you broke up: Because you so don’t want to go there again. It’s important to take time to think about why things didn’t work out before you do anything physical: “Once you’ve done it, there’s no going back.”
Trust me when I say that I of all people know that once you get a taste of sleeping with someone you’ll never want to sleep alone. And although you may want to sleep next to him or her because that’s what you’re used to, remind yourself of why you are in that situation to begin with. The bottom line: Sex with an ex isn’t for everyone. But if you’re both down and have zero expectations for any future relationship, then why the hell not? Until next time…
Is It Too Soon?
Although this year is wrapping up and we’re all thinking about overrated New Years Eve plans, there’s obvious life changing events going on. Unless you’re against all millennials or living under a rock you know that social media is flooding with engagement posts and “we’re expecting” photos. The least surprising part about all of these social media feeds is that they are your friends – Sarah from 2nd grade and Jason that threw up at prom. And the apparent question is… what are you doing?
Maybe you’ve been in a devoted relationship with the love of your life, cycling through the same 3 guys because you can’t commit to one, or happily single and working on yourself. Whatever life scenario you’re in the fact of the matter is that everyone in and outside your circle is transitioning into the next phase of his or her life and that can be scary – very scary. Most, if not all, of us are getting ready to graduate college and get a big kid job. And although that may sound exciting, it can leave you feeling uneasy because lets face it… You’re so used to sleeping on your boyfriends futon next to stale pizza and you’re not exactly sure if you’re ready to move in together and get a dog.
Millennials have very two distant spectrums when it comes to significant others – marriage or multiple flings. This is a generation that gets caught up in the dilemma of swiping left or right, we “talk” and text, we Snapchat and we sext. We hangout and we happy hour, we go to coffee and grab a beer – anything to avoid an actual date. We private message to meet up; we small talk for an hour only to return home and small talk via text. We forgo any chance of achieving real connection by mutually playing games with no winner. Or on the other end of things we date for a minor couple of months and decide it’s time to tie the knot. Because he or she knows us best right? In the mist of planning a wedding we get caught up taking pregnancy tests and end up adding dishware along with diapers to our registery list. We come home to the same person every night, we watch the same shows, and we have the same conversation at dinner. Are we going into routine too soon?
I know that everyone’s biological clock and destiny is different, but can it be so different that we are settling for what we are used to before we’re 25? Are we really mature enough to not let one another explore what the world has to offer? Whatever the case may be, never sell yourself short. It’s very easy to get caught up in photos on Facebook of your friends’ second baby shower while you reflect back on all your “lame” relationships. But don’t feel rushed. Life is not a race and that includes your relationships. Life has so much to offer so before you sign the lease to your new apartment with your significant other make sure you’re doing it for you and not to keep up with everyone else on social media that seems to be doing the same thing. Until next time…
Brb while I obsess over Herbivore Botanicals. This is the first skin care company that makes me feel at peace. I have used a laundry list of total skin care products, that do great things for my skin, but they haven’t made me feel complete. Call this cliché but Herbivore Botanicals makes me complete.
Created out of a kitchen in Seattle, Alex and Julia brought heaven down to earth. “Every ingredient that we include in our products is there for a specific therapeutic reason. We do not use fillers of any kind, meaning that almost every ingredient in our products is an “active” ingredient. This results in pure, highly concentrated, and effective formulas that are a rarity in the skincare and cosmetics world today.” Out of all the natural products Herbivore Botanicals provides, I was lucky enough to try the Rose Hibiscus Hydrating Face Mist, Lapis Facial Oil Roller, and Bamboo Charcoal Cleansing Bar Soap.
“When used in skincare, activated Bamboo Charcoal does wonders to deeply cleanse and detoxify. Drawing impurities and toxins from deep within your pores with its powerful absorption properties, it gives an amazing deep clean while also naturally exfoliating.” PREACH. It makes me skin feel clean – from the inside out. I love the fact that is has a very faint natural scent to it (unlike everything you get from Bath & Body Works). It’s like all the suds really care for you and your skin, leaving you with an organic therapeutic sensation.
“Lapis Facial Oil is named for the precious deep blue oil it contains, Blue Tansy. This oil holds a component called Azulene which is deep blue in color and acts as a powerful anti-inflammatory and antibacterial that aids in reducing redness and clarifying the complexion.” I don’t know about you, but puffy eyes are the last thing I want in the morning and throughout the day. After using the Bamboo Charcoal Cleansing Bar Soap, I rub a little of the Lapis Facial Oil underneath my eyes and massage it in with my ring finger (less pressure).
“Rose Hibiscus Hydrating Face Mist is created with pure plant actives — no fillers. A base of coconut water is infused with youth-boosting hibiscus flower petals and moisture-enhancing rose to tone, hydrate, and soften all skin types.” Ugh, what a beautiful way to end your morning routine and start your day. I find it most effective when I spritz my face a couple times and let it air dry before I apply my moisturizer.
Will I buy Herbivore Botanicals in the future – absolutely! Would I recommend it to a friend – I wouldn’t be doing my friend justice if I didn’t. Herbivore Botanicals is truly a wonderful brand that caters to all skin types. Put your robe on, open your bedroom window blinds, make some of your favorite tea, and dance around your living room because Herbivore Botanicals wouldn’t want you to embrace healthy skin any other way. Until next time…
You Dirty Scrub
Sweater weather is finally here and although it’s important to make sure you’re eating the right foods and taking the right vitamins to fight off any viruses, it’s just as important to take care of your skin. Who would have known that the morning coffee you drink is just as good for you late at night in the shower. Okay… maybe not the exact same coffee. But coffee scrubs are a definite must during the cold season.
If you’ve never tried or even heard of using coffee scrubs you’re probably thinking “WTF”. But truth be told coffee has a lot of benefits to the skin. It is a great exfoliate and has many anti-inflammatory properties. Not to mention is temporarily reduces cellulite, improves blood circulation, reduces eye puffiness, and gives your skin a smooth touch. Instead of using body scrubs with harsh chemicals, coffee scrubs like You Dirty Scrub combine coffee grounds with salt, sugar, and oils that leave your skin nourished and moisturized rather than just cleansed. In fact, coffee scrubs like You Dirty Scrub that use all-natural ingredients can easily be used as a replacement for body scrubs and exfoliators that contain chemicals—who wants to rub chemicals on themselves when there is an all-natural alternative to achieve healthy, smooth skin!?
Aside from the amazing exfoliation that coffee scrub provides, it also has another secret weapon for your skin: caffeine. Caffeine is a compound that is found abundantly in tea and coffee plants around the world. Technically a psychoactive drug, caffeine has become the world’s most popular stimulant because it works so effectively. While we all know the benefits that caffeine has on the mind and body when we drink a cup of coffee, the lesser-known benefits are the effects it has when we apply it to our skin (remember when I mentioned cellulite and puffy eyes?) But if coffee scrubs are so good for you, then why just buy You Dirty Scrub? You Dirty Scrub is a 100% natural vegan coffee body that contains properties like coconut oil. Not to mention they are affordable. So next time you think about buy a chemical based scrub, think about what your skin really needs. Until next time…
BioClarity: The Clear Skin System
Lucky for me, I’ve never been one with bad acne (thank you good genes). But even though I have a good skin complexion, I have struggled with finding the right product. I have combination skin, my pores get huge when it’s that time of month, and I tend to break out in a rash whenever there’s a drastic weather change – wtf! Well thank baby Jesus for bringing BioClarity into my life.
Having not only good skin appearance but also healthy skin is so important to me and it should be to you too. Your skin protects your body from the many viruses and bacteria you are exposed to daily. It also protects you from the sun’s rays – specifically ultraviolet light – that can damage cells. Healthy skin produces vitamin D when exposed to the sun, and vitamin D is important for many body functions. Nonetheless, it can increase serotonin. When you look good, you feel good!
Over the past 22 days, I have used BioClarity as my morning and nighttime skincare routine and I can truthfully say it’s done wonders for me. The 3-step treatment system has helped me control my oily t-zone, clear up any random pimple outbreaks overnight, and moisturized my skin from the inside out. Besides the fact that BioClarity is so loyal to my skin… it contains natural ingredients. This cleanse, treatment, and restore treatment includes chamomile which helps with inflammatory issues, green tea extract which helps with cell-protecting functions, and cucumber extract which has amazing amounts of protein.
So what’s the difference? BioClarity has a diamond value with a rock price point. I hate to say it, but at just $29.95 you really can’t beat it – sorry Proactive. The secret? Floralux. “Let’s face it: life is easier when you’re confident in your skin. BioClarity helps to reveal the real you, so you can take on school, work, social media—life! —With naturally clear skin. With clarity comes confidence. Natural confidence.” Until next time…
Blogging Tips 101
*uses toothbrush as microphone and sings Kanye lyrics while dancing around in her underwear* “She just wanna be famous, be famous”. Wouldn’t it be amazing to make a living from blogging? Like… a real living. Where it pays you enough money for you to pay your bills and have some extra spending money. To travel the world with an amazing team that helps you create incredible content that thousands of people follow religiously. To be… you know… famous?
Ahhh, everyone and their grandmother dreams of such a job and guess what – PEOPLE ACTUALLY HAVE THAT JOB! No I don’t travel the world in private jets with me feet kicked up while I sip on over priced champagne. However, I have had success from blogging and being a creative influencer. So with that being said I want to share with you my struggles, tips, tricks, do’s & don’ts.
First things first, what the hell is a blogger? A blog (also called a weblog or web log) is a website consisting of entries (also called posts) appearing in reverse chronological order with the most recent entry appearing first (similar in format to a daily journal). Blogs typically include features such as comments and links to increase user interactivity. Blogs are created using specific publishing software.
- Blogging: The act of writing a post for a blog
- Blogger: A person who writes content for a blog
- Blogosphere: The online community of blogs and bloggers
So know that you know the basics of whom and what bloggers/ blogging is, how the hell do you actual do it? How do you get companies to send you stuff? How do you get thousands of likes on Instagram? Now I’m no expert by any means but these are things I did that helped me with my fashion & lifestyle blog…
Let’s not sugar coat anything here – blogging is hard work. And if you truly do want to start a fashion blog or any blog for that matter, you are entering a niche that is so crowded and cramped you will struggle to even find room to breathe. The competition and the noise are endless. But there is good news and that is that 95% of those blogs really suck. I mean they REALLY suck. This leaves you with an opportunity to do something amazing and awesome and special but, like the paragraph header says, you need some guts. You are going to have to make this work by being smart and different. If you’re not prepared to do that then you may as well stop reading right here.
- Get a cool domain and your own host.
It makes me cringe when I see people wanting to be taken serious in the blogging world but they use Tumblr or Blogger as their platform. Those platforms are meant for promotional purpose for your actual blog site. Whatever you do, please use a blog host such as WordPress and buy your domain name. Yes I said BUY. I know you didn’t want to hear it, but in order to make money you must spend money. This can be as cheap as a one time payment of $15-$20 for the whole year. If you want to start a blog that will eventually become a business then you need to get your own domain name and web host.
Why? Because that blog is your asset. It will be the place from which you launch every project that you can come up with in the future. It will be the place from which you promote everything you do and it will be how all the big cats in your industry come to know you.
- What makes you better then everyone else?
Like I said earlier… there are a million other of you. It’s like you’re in a big sea of other minions just hoping to get noticed. Figure out what it is that separates you from all the other bloggers in your niche. I recommend looking at blogs of those that are successful. What is there aesthetic? How do they pose in pictures? What is their writing style? These are all simple yet critical questions you need to ask yourself.
- Publish “lit” stuff
Once you’ve figured out all the little knick-knack things like your blog name, font size, and everything else that goes into perfecting your new and awesome blog; it’s time to post something. But before you even think about posting that God awful photo of you and your cat from Thanksgiving, think about the future. Think about your audience and who you are catering to. Your goal readers are those that aspire to be you, and I’m sorry no one wants to be you or your cat from Thanksgiving. This isn’t to say that you or your cat aren’t cool or that you two shouldn’t be yourself… But lets just find another photo to post. Perhaps a better one?
I cannot stress this enough… IN ORDER TO HAVE THE LIFE YOU WANT, YOU NEED TO DO THE THINGS THAT PEOPLE WHO HAVE THE LIFE YOU WANT ARE DOING!!! No, this doesn’t mean do cocaine because Linda is doing it. But make friends. Lots of them. Make friends with your readers and make friends with other bloggers that are already way more awesome than you and might be able to give you a helping hand. This means growing a mailing list and it means being active on places like Google+.
- Instagram baby…
Whether you hated Instagram before or not… none of that matters. Instagram is and will forever be your baby as long as you’re in the blogging world. This is the molding ground for all good things. To be honest, I started off in the wrong direction. I was all about my blog and didn’t pay much attention to my Instagram – little did I know. If you take anything from this post, know that INSTAGRAM IS REVOLUTIONARY. All those brands/ companies you want to send you free stuff for you to review and write about on your blog will base their yes or no answer off of your Instagram (I will teach you all my Instagram tricks in the near future).
Now that you have all these helpful yet brief tips, I hope you start your awesome blog (whatever that might be). But always keep in mind; blogging is not easy by any means. It takes a lot of trial and error. What works for someone else might not work for you. One thing that will always be promising is consistency. Be consistent with your timing, theme, and posts. Nonetheless ignore all the haters that may come your way – they just wish they were as cool as you. Until next time…
I Don’t Work 9-5…
Ever since I took the leap of faith and moved to Manhattan, I told myself that I didn’t want to work 9-5 everyday because that’s boring. I have always been the one to want something different then every Bob and Jane. So how did I get to where I am – the non 9-5 lifestyle that is? Well, I went a got it… literally.
In order to have something you don’t already have, you have to do something you’ve never done. So with that being said, I looked into the lives of those that have the life I wish to have. I noticed that a lot of people that don’t work 9-5 have multiple jobs, multiple titles. Now I was a fashion & lifestyle blogger before I moved to NYC, but for what I wanted that wasn’t enough. I needed to do something other than blogging to be able to go out to clubs at night, galas, and be able to say it was work. If you follow me on Instagram (@biancaebako) you know that I have multiple ‘titles’ and a lot of people have asked how I got them when I originally came to NYC as a PR intern for BCBG Max Azria – gag.
Instagram! Wait, what? Yes… Instagram is bae ladies and gentleman. Engagement is key and in order to get in contact with people that have what you want, there’s no better way than to engage with them on Instagram. I owe Instagram for introducing me to fashion editor, and now friend, Caroline Vazzana. It was a Tuesday night and I was so sick of my current situation because I knew it wasn’t my final destination (ha, cliché). So I searched ‘fashion bloggers’ and ran across her profile. Long story short, we met for coffee 3 weeks later and the rest is history… kinda.
By the time I met with Caroline, I had quit my PR internship with BCBG Max Azria, worked NY Fashion Week, and became celebrity stylist Rosy Muto’s assistant. WHAT THE F*CK! How? Like I said before – engagement. If you hate your current situation, GET OUT OF IT ALREADY. What the hell is holding you back? Excuses. So now that I’ve given you the mom to daughter talk, what exactly are my essentials to my crazy and new lifestyle?
As a fashion & lifestyle blogger, creative influencer, freelance writer for well-known publications, celebrity stylist assistant, PR intern for a creative agency, and the youngest production director for Miami Fashion Week 2017… it’s only right that I share with you my essentials.
– MacBook Air: This is my baby. I write all of my blog posts, read fashion articles, do Skype calls, and online shop all from this gem.
– Portable Charger: I got a portable charger from TJ Maxx at the beginning of the year and believe me when I tell you it was the best $10 I’ve ever spent. I can charge my phone on the go with it, which is really helpful when I’m running around the city all day.
– Journal: I know this may sound funny… but I actually journal. I write down all my blog ideas, things I need to get done, and motivational quotes in my journal.
– iPhone: If you ask my mom, she’ll say that it’s always in my hand. This is my source of contact to all things – friends, family, emails, Twitter, and all of the above. That’s why it is so vital that I have just the right case.
I have partnered with Richmond&Finch on some awesome phone cases that I am in love with! Like all things I need in my life, Richmond&Finch cases are sleek with a modern design for both fashion and protection. My favorite case is the Classic Satin Black because it is silky-smooth with a matte textured finish (and don’t forget about the gold accent). With an easy grip, Richmond&Finch cases are exactly what my phone and I need when on the go. Use promo code biancaebako20 to receive 20% your Richmond&Finch case. Until next time…
Dr. Bronner’s 18-in-1
I HAVE FOUND MY HOLY GRAIL. I don’t know where Dr. Bronner’s 18-in-1 Hemp Lavender Pure-Castile Soap has been all my life, but I’m glad it found it’s way to me. When I tell you I’m obsessed with this product… believe ever letter of it. This product is the peanut butter to my jelly, the ying to my yang, and the cream to my coffee. It is everything.
This past Monday I made the flawless choice to stop at my favorite “pick me up” store, Beauty 35, on my way home from a long work session at Starbucks. I originally planned on buying some vitamins and some nail polish to paint my bare nails since they haven’t received any tlc the past couple weeks. Of course, as expected, I found myself in isles that had everything but nail polish or vitamins. I stumbled into the soaps, essential oils, and everything your body and mind needs isle. Thank you baby Jesus! For one, marketing specialist get me every time. I wasn’t even drawn in to Dr. Bronner’s products for the 18-in-1 advantages, I was dumbfounded by how interesting the labels looked. From the colors, fonts, and label texture – love at first sight.
Okay so clearly I purchased this 8-ounce liquid gold and let me tell you, it was the best $5.99 I’ve ever spent. “Scented with pure lavender and lavender oils to calm the mind and soothe the body! Dr. Bronner’s Pure-Castile Lavender Liquid Soap is concentrated, biodegradable, versatile and effective.” Blah blah blah! I don’t want to take credit away from the description listed on the bottle, but let me tell you what Dr. Bronner’s 18-in-1 Hemp Lavender Pure-Castile Soap is really about. Soap?! Understatement. This is daddy! Ladies and gentleman, heaven has landed on earth and into my shower.
I’m one those individuals that loves the suds. I feel like I’m not clean unless I’m drenched in soapsuds. Well my perspective of clean changed a couple days ago. Dr. Bronner’s 18-in-1 Hemp Lavender Pure-Castile Soap is unlike any other soap you’ve used before. It has a very watery consistency with an amazing slip between your hands. Although it doesn’t have a sudsy texture like the passion fruit Aveeno body wash I normally use, it still has those mirror like suds we all look for when cleaning anything. The lavender scent is one like none other. It smells genuine and real. Like you just rolled through lavender flowers in some valley in southern California. Truly organic! Okay, so they say “organic” and like most companies, when they use the term “organic” it’s destined to be complete bullshit. So like my dad always told me, the first 3 ingredients listed on any product are what make up that product… water, organic coconut oil, and potassium hydroxide. SWEET BABY JESUS!! It really is organic and I’m in love. So enough about my love for it as a body wash (because it makes my body feel squeaky clean), what else does this “holy grail” have to offer? Lets just say this soap and my Gillette Venus sensitive skin razor have become best friends. This product can be used as a body wash, shaving cream, dishwasher soap (yes really), laundry soap, house cleaner, shampoo, face wash, and much more. Dr. Bronner’s 18-in-1 Hemp Lavender Pure-Castile Soap is something that will forever be a part of my morning and nighttime routine. Until next time…
Why Your Cleanse Is Bullsh*t
It seems everyone’s on a detox preparing for the New Year, and don’t we all need one? Our bodies are full of toxic chemicals. It would be great if we could just purify ourselves with a few smoothies, right? Tough luck. Detoxes are bullshit. It’s easy to get drawn into the marketing of detoxes or cleanses (the two are basically interchangeable these days, both terms are used by those who shill them); they’re everywhere, doesn’t that make them scientific? Some of them claim to help you lose weight, some say they treat diseases, and some just … make you less toxic? Align your chi with your wallpaper? Organize your closet and tell your BFF that yes, her passive-aggressive Facebook status messages about her ex have been lame since about two minutes past the age of 15?
But I can’t lie and say these commercial cleanse juices are all bad. I teamed up with a California based nutrition company called Project Juice. Now unlike most consumers, I didn’t receive their products to help me lose weight or get rid of toxins. I was completely lost. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU WERE LOST?! I was caught up in unfulfilling engagements with people that were long overdue to end, I stopped taking care of myself (emotionally), and I was completely lost in the city of Manhattan – it was eating me up alive! I was disoriented in the idea of what things could have been rather then the stone cold truth, but the worst part was that I wasn’t doing anything to get myself out of the situation. However, now I’m back and feel even better. So if detoxes are garbage, why would I even bother consuming them?
Detoxing starts from within. Like all good things, you have to start from the core and work your way out. If something in your life is not going as planned or you’re unhappy, it’s time to change course. Do something different, go somewhere new, make new friends. I know everyone’s mom says “life is too short”, but the truth is she’s right! All life situations, bad or good, start with you. Now I’m not saying if you get into a car accident you’re at fault. But you are in complete control of how you react and handle the situation. And this goes for all life encounters!
Project Juice is an organic juice company that provides organic juice variations to its consumers. Although my intension wasn’t to “kick-start a healthy diet”, I wanted to try something new. All of their products contain unprocessed foods and being in such a fast paced city such as Manhattan, it’s much easier to go to the McDonald’s around the corner rather then searching “organic food” in Google Maps and hoping there’s a GMO-free café on your way to work. I have been dealing with a lot the past couple of weeks. I was giving attention to people that didn’t deserve it, stressing over things I had no control over, and was in a complete rut when it came to my career. Project Juice not only made me feel better physically but they helped me realize that the best detox starts from within you. What is it that you want? Until next time…
I know I’ve used the phrase “never in my life” so many times throughout Trending Prosperity, but seriously… never in my life have I considered working with an interior designer. Now I’ve always dreamed of having that luxurious 6-bedroom house with white crown moldings throughout the living room and a French interior designer saying, “dis is what chu need” when it came to the bedroom curtains. But it never really crossed my mind to indulge into interior design until I met Ursallie Smith, owner and founder of Rococo Designs.
It is apparent that interior design is a part of societies everyday lives – just like personal shoppers and stylists. Why in the hell would you want to figure out if burgundy velvet throw pillows match your faux leather couch when you can pay someone to do it for you? This generation is not only caught up on convenience (paying someone to do your dirty laundry) but we want to do things right. According to the good ‘ol dictionary, an interior designers main priority is to make spaces functional, safe, and beautiful by determining space requirements and selecting decorative items, such as colors, lighting, and materials. But apart from making the space physically, mentally, and emotionally appealing, interior designers create relationships with their clients. The process in recreating a space is very critical and it’s important that both parties understand each other.
Ursallie Smith is a Brooklyn based luxury interior designer but has history in New Jersey, Georgia, and Turks & Caicos Islands. Originally based in Atlanta, Ursallie has been in the industry for over 20 years. She attended the Art Institute of Atlanta finishing with a BA in fashion design and marketing. Her main focus was commercial, working with contractors and designing model homes. Two years ago she relocated to Dumbo Brooklyn and has clients all over Manhattan as well as New Jersey.
Voted “Best of Houzz” four years in a row, Ursallie has this interior design thing down to a T. Unlike most interior designers that charge hourly, Ursallie charges her clients a flat rate – 20% of the projects total cost. This makes things a lot easier for not only herself but her client as well. Clients don’t feel as rushed and they feel comfortable asking more questions. Like all business related ventures, there is a procedure….
Consultation – This is when Ursallie gets to know you. What are your needs, wants, and desires?
Presentation – Based on things discussed in consultation, Ursallie will present to you a plan that she feels is best for what you are looking for. This is when you will get to see fabric, layouts, and floor plans. The presentations range from 3 to 4 hours.
Contract – Yes girl, you are getting that dream kitchen! You have approved all of Ursallie’s ideas and you two are on common ground. Time to sign on the dotted line and get things rolling!
Aside from being an interior designer, Ursallie makes what I like to call “pillow-tucks” (pillows that are attached to a throw blanket), designs furniture, and makes island inspired candles. When I first walked into Rococo Designs’ show room, I completely fell in love with the Mongolian Lamb fur pillow! It is everything every girl wants on her bed – the size, colors, and fur. At a retail price of $89.99 this pillow is everything you and your bed have been missing. Until next time…
SOCIAL NORM: To Shave or Not To Shave…
Since the beginning of puberty I have always had a razor in my shower – right next to the shaving cream and shampoo. It was never a question on whether to shave or not. Once you saw hair under your arms it was time to shave it off before anyone else saw it. And as you got older, the demand to shave other areas of your body (like lady parts) became more demanding. College then came around and I was introduced to the waxing community – WAX IT ALL OFF! That’s disgusting to have hair growing in natural areas of the body, right? And to not shave or wax it… gag.
In the past two decades, there have been a lot of commercials and advertising for hair removal cream and laser removal of hair that have talked about women needing to shave their underarm hair and that the armpit area should be clean. It is a society norm that women keep not only their armpits shaved, but all parts shaved and waxed – legs, eyebrows, upper lip, and especially areas their partner interacts with. Women are conditioned to shame body hair.
On social media and red carpets, from New York to China, hairy underarms are having a mainstream moment. A women’s rights advocate hosted a contest in China that asked women to post photos of their unshaven armpits. Celebrities like Jemima Kirke, Madonna, Miley Cyrus, and Lena Dunham have been challenging the universal belief that women’s beauty should include completely shaven armpit hair. “The purpose of this contest is no to call on people not to shave their armpits. Much of what women consider beautiful is based on standards set by men, so it’s refreshing to witness a woman-centered beauty movement” says Madonna.
Women are proudly showing off their growth on Instagram and YouTube. Jemima Kirke of “Girls” flashed her fair-colored natural look — earning some cringes — at the June 1 CFDA awards, one of the top fashion events of the year. She even went as far to say, “Men have more freedom in terms of what to do with their bodies. I’m just saying if a woman doesn’t want to shave, the rest of us should not think their underarm hair is disgusting, unhygienic, uncivil, or not feminine enough.”
Kirke is not the first, and definitely not the last, to embrace the au-natural look. Miley Cyrus posted pictures of the process of dying her armpit hair (and pubic hair) pink to her Instagram. Women around the world have followed in these famous footsteps, posting their own underarm hair pictures with hashtags such as, “#armpithairdontcare” and “#hairpitsclub”. Some say this is a fad while others claim it is revolutionary…
But what happens when you bring men into the equation? Hairy armpits are great for a “power to all women” protest but things change when you’re in the bedroom with a guy you brought home from the bar. “I have had not shaved before, but she was from China so it’s their culture. But for American girls, shave it!” Is not shaving okay when it’s a culture restriction? Or is it just an American norm that American women shave not only their armpits but lady parts too? “It’s fine if there’s a little hair, but if it’s a bush then hell no. Lots of hair comes with smell.” It’s seen to be more “feminine” and “sexier” that a woman shaves not only her armpits, but areas down below as well.
It is the 21st century, yet people are still telling women what to do with their bodies. From “that dress is too short” to “don’t wear that bikini”, women are being body shamed into becoming Stepford Wives, or an ideal hairless member of society. Bottom line: Everyone should have the right to do whatever they want to their bodies – men and women. However, the key is to keep things hygienic. If a woman wants to shave, good for her! If she chooses not to shave, who cares? The golden rule is it’s her body, not yours. Until next time…
I’ll Give You A Lesson in Sex Education
For once, I am sticking up for the male population! Yes, you read that sentence right. But before you get pissed and blow up my inbox on “girl power” bullsh*t ladies, I’m going to talk about both perspectives. How social media is affecting both women and men. Social expectations of what your boyfriend should do and what he’s not doing. Why he doesn’t see the need to post lovey-dovey pictures of you two on his Instagram or comment heart eye emoji’s on your Facebook pictures. Ladies and gentleman, I will give you a little lesson in sex education – and no, not that kind.
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. etc. etc… the list could go on and on. Social media is both a blessing and a curse to the modern day generation. While it can help us keep in contact with others and get instant updates on events, social media can have an interesting effect on relationships. (i.e. should I check his recent activity on Instagram or not? And who’s this girl who’s always “favoriting” his tweets?) These are all things that have gone through every girl’s head and it’s completely normal. You’re curious to what your man is doing on social media and if he’s giving more attention to other women – the attention you want.
Should you break up with your boyfriend just because he doesn’t post your photos on social media? Of course not. This should not be the defining issue of your relationship, but it’s not a silly worry either. Social media can be superficial, ridiculous, and just plain stupid sometimes but it’s part of our identity now. It’s part of how we present ourselves publicly, and it does matter — especially if it’s hurting your feelings. I’m not saying there’s nothing going on here. If you’ve been dating for a year and he’s posting pictures of everyone but you… that does seem odd. But, before you break up with him try talking to him first, OK? Tell him how you feel and ask him why it makes him uncomfortable to share pictures of you online.
Maybe he just doesn’t see the significance in posting pictures of you or you two on his social media because “everyone knows we’re together”. Which may be true, but it’s the thought that counts right? Trust me, I get it. You want to have that Pinterest relationship that every other girl is jealous of. You want the “I don’t know what I’d do without” her comments under the pictures you two take. You want him to show you off in private and in public – THAT’S NORMAL! So why the hell isn’t he doing these things? You two have been together for a while and he hasn’t gone out of his way to show the world what a wonderful girl you are…
There are so many reasons why a guy might choose to keep his dating life private. The worst-case scenario? You’re not the only girl he’s seeing — and maybe not the only one who’s wondering why she’s not on Facebook. He could be flirting with other women or hiding you because he’s hung up on an ex. But before we jump to conclusion, maybe he’s not ready to introduce you to his family (who will see you online). Or maybe he just prefers to keep his dating life private. That’s his right. And there’s nothing wrong with that either.
Regardless, you have every right to know what’s going on. Guys are stupid (sorry boys)! They don’t take note in the fact that you want to be treated like a princess in all aspects of his life. That’s why it is your job to bring that to his attention. Now don’t nag him about it, just talk to him and voice that being shown on his social media is important to you and your relationship. If he really cares, he will make an effort to satisfy your request. And if he doesn’t, then it is up to you to decide if social media is really that important to you and your relationship. At the end of the day, don’t let social media be the center of your relationship. If he is a great guy to you then that should be more important then him making you his profile picture. Remember that every relationship is different and the girls that have their boyfriends posting about them might not even be half as happy as you. Until next time…
PHOTOGRAPHER – MORGAN G.
SHEET DRESS: AD ASTRA STUDIO
PONCHO: AD ASTRA STUDIO
BOOTS: VINCE CAMUTO
NECKLACE: AD ASTRA STUDIO
BRACELETS: AD ASTRA STUDIO
SUNGLASSES: AD ASTRA STUDIO
OTHER JEWELRY: CARTIER
Princetown Gucci Loafers
I caved. I know, I know… I’ve ranted to most about this disgusting obsession over Princetown Gucci Loafers everyone seems to have (fashion influencers in particular). I even complained about seeing them everywhere to fashion editor Caroline Vazzana while flipping through the French menu at Laudrees, which I had no idea how to read. I’m not sure if it was my lack of ability to read French or the fact that every well-known fashion presence had these loafers and I didn’t. For purpose of discussion, I’ll blame it on the loafers.
These overpriced $995 fur-lined loafers “better keep me warm all winter if I’m paying that much”, some would say. But for others, like NYC fashion bloggers, price isn’t a concern. That’s not to say we all have $995 laying around just waiting to be spent, but it’s something that’s trending and to our population that’s all that matters. So what is it about this grandma staple piece that no 20-something year old would ever be caught dead wearing a couple years ago? For starters, it’s Gucci. If they decided to design shoes that were meant to be worn on the wrong feet and a public figure like Lauren Conrad decided to hop on board with this bazaar idea, guess what, you’d see everyone on campus wearing their shoes on the wrong feet too.
I went to Saks last week to get my hands on a pair of these loafers and let’s just say that was a horrible mistake. I fell in love! Crazy enough they had my size even though every woman in NYC seemed to be in the Gucci department wanting to buy these same shoes. The sales representative Jeremy, and now Saks contact, was helpful enough to give me a little 411 on these Gucci loafers. “As soon as we get them, they’re gone. I don’t understand how! They must be really comfortable because people come in here regularly waiting for us to get their size back in stock. Not to mention every woman in Manhattan has them”. But a part from them being Gucci, what makes them so great?
For starters, the Princetown slipper is fully lined and trimmed with coyote then finished with Gucci’s signature horse-bit detail across the top. It was originally lined with kangaroo, but Australia was not a fan of that so Gucci changed it – gotta make your clients happy, right? Although us ladies can find these loafers in the women’s section in luxury department stores and online, they’re actually unisex! Gucci introduced Princetown loafers in February of 2015 but it didn’t take storm until it was seen on every other page of magazines like Vogue and Marie Claire. Vogue online even claimed to be “head over heels” for these gems.
The collection includes the slipper as well as a fur-lined clog and a sling-back red pump. The line signals a favorable restart for the storied Italian fashion house, which is now under the stewardship of creative director Alessandro Michele. Whether you’re on board of not, Gucci’s Princetown line of fur-trimmed kicks is the most buzzed-about shoe for fall. We didn’t choose this lifestyle, this lifestyle chose us. Until next time…
French Fries and French Kisses
If anyone tells you they’re mentally prepared to take on the week – they just lied out of their ass and you should leave the conversation as soon as possible. Nobody is ever mentally prepared for the end of the weekend and the beginning of a week that consists of heavy concentration and minimal fun. Unless you’re an Olivia Pope-level responsible worker (which you know you’re not), you most likely leave all your weekend work for Sunday or better yet, right before it’s due during the week. So I’ve taken the oath and all responsibility to make sure all you college students know that you’re not alone when it comes to that compiled list of things you put off for Sunday or struggles you face during the week.
- You press your snooze button a minimum of 10 times so you don’t have to wake up and face your responsibilities. You don’t care if someone suggests you set your alarm right when you need to wake up that way you can’t hit the snooze button because guess what… you’ll still continuously hit that stupid alarm and miraculously make it to whatever it was you were dreading, on time.
- When you eventually decide to wake up and join the rest of the world, you take your time on social media. Ahhhh! All of us find ourselves victim to this, especially if the night before involved a lot of heavy alcohol consumption. You lay in bed checking all your social media platforms as if what your friends have on their snap stories is going to really kick start your day.
- You call up your designated study buddies and pick from a variety of study locations. Because not only does the noise level come into play when considering your location, you have to think about things like “who’s going to be there” “does this location have a geotag” and most importantly “can I plug my phone in without having to set it behind a counter or across the room”. These are all very important factors and should not be overseen. Right?
- You eventually narrow things down to an overpriced coffee shop or someone’s house – as if the library really stood a chance. Lets face it; you weren’t really going to dedicate all of your time to studying… that’d be STUPID! The coffee shop is a social atmosphere where you can strategically talk about this weekends plan. And your friends’ house is a one-stop shop – TV, food, etc. It only makes sense.
- For purpose of discussion, you all voted for the coffee shop. Perfect! But before you sit down and really get into studying, you must order the most caffeinated drink because how else are you going to get through the night?
- Yes, now you have your caffeine fix so it’s time to break open those textbooks you haven’t touched all semester. One problem… you don’t really remember what is due in each class which means you have to use your phone to text your group members and other people in your classes.
- Ugh but you haven’t been on Instagram “all day”. HA, that’s a lie. You know damn well you were on it this morning, in class, and in line waiting for your coffee 10 minuets ago. But you didn’t really look at what was going on, so this is the perfect time to properly look at all unnecessary posts. But don’t worry; you’ll make sure to text your classmates… after this.
- You promised your grandma you’d call her back. Your grandma called you yesterday but you were too busy to talk to her then (probably because you were busy wasting time doing something else), so this is the perfect opportunity to call her back. She would be disappointed if you didn’t obviously.
- When you finally do decide to open up those textbooks, you get this brilliant idea that watching Netflix and doing homework is the next best move. For God’s sake, you’re in college and have mastered multitasking. You can easily get stats homework done while catching up with Gossip Girl. Plus, you’re so devoted to this homework you’ll be exhausted when you get home so you won’t be able to watch it then.
- After an hour of the coffee shop you’re ready for a change of scenery – your bedroom. At last, you’re reacquainted with your bed and things have never been better. You’ve worked so hard multitasking at the coffee shop and finishing one of many assignments that you feel it’s best you take a “quick” nap to recuperate.
- You finally wake up and discover that it’s dark out. Great… this is exactly what you didn’t want to happen even though deep down inside you know this was going to be the end result. You have a mini panic attack and call your mom questioning your education. Is it really worth it?
- You make your way to your desk and soon enough realize you actually don’t have that much to do. Pshhh, you were freaking out for nothing. I mean, yes you could get ahead, but why would you do that? You manage to finish all the work that needed to be done for tomorrow.
- Time to energize yourself. You’ve been such a good student that you deserve some good food and a drink… or two. This is when you’re really unwind and waste time catching up on all the drama you missed this past weekend by calling your best friend.
- Time for bed. The day is finally done and you’re back in your beloved bed. You debate on putting your phone down and going to sleep but first, social media. What was originally suppose to be a quick run through ended you up on YouTube watching funny videos. You know you have a long day tomorrow but nothing can come between the relationship you and your phone have.
You have repeatedly gone through this unbalanced routine and you’re somehow alive. You are a complete pro. You deserve a Heisman. This is insane and should be documented! But don’t be fooled, you’re not the only one that has mastered this lifestyle. So next time you want those high calorie French fries from McDonalds or French kiss a random guy at a party, know that we all behind you every step of the way.
Fake It Till You Make It
Over the past couple weeks I’ve talked about my experience in NYC but I haven’t really said much on how I got here… or how I’ve got any of my ventures. Other than the obvious, like booking a plane ticket and finding housing, there are a couple other things that are just as important (if not more) when it comes to your success. In todays culture, we’re taught to go to college, get a degree, find a mediocre paying job, get married, have a couple kids, and call it a wrap by the time we’re 65. And although getting a college degree is a great way to help your career, a degree in your hand doesn’t always guarantee a foot in the door for an interview. Now I’m not trying to knock college by any means, I’m a college student myself. But there are a couple real life things I’ve experienced outside of college as a young aspiring 21 year old that I feel is necessary to share because it is my duty to share the wealth.
Resume. So you’re a pre-law major but the only place you’ve worked is the pet store in your little ass home town of 1,000 people and now you really want that job as a legal assistant… perfect! This is where the “fake it till you make it” comes into play. It’s clear that your lack of legal work is slim to none but the key thing to highlight the skills you do have to show employers your value. It’s important to remember that YOU have control of what they should know and what they don’t know. Make them believe that you have all the skills and qualifications it takes to be that legal assistant. When creating your resume, keep things short, sweet, and to the point. The objective of a resume is to briefly summarize you and your credentials. It isn’t meant to be a 10-page essay. I feel that a lot of college, or inexperienced individuals, put a bunch of junk on their resume because they feel that it needs to be lengthy. Listen, employers don’t want to weed through all that bullsh*t. Keep things relevant and you’ll be in good shape.
– Heading: this should state your name and any other important identifying information (address, email, phone number).
– Overview: a mini biography containing 3-4 short sentences about yourself. Highlight your strongest features here.
– Education: Use common sense… if you’re a college graduate; don’t list where you went to elementary school. Keep things relevant!
– Work Experience and Skills: list your previous work experience (most recent first) and the skills that you obtain. Make sure these skills are relevant and can be used in the job you’re applying to.
Business Cards. It gives me goose bumps when college students say they don’t see the need for business cards because they don’t own a business or have a “big kid” job. The point of a business card is for current and future employers to have all your contact information in one place. It also poses you as a much more professional individual that’s about their business. If you don’t have business cards, a resume works just as well too. But for those that are looking to spend a couple extra bucks by elevating your brand (you) with business cards, I encourage it. Two weeks before I moved to Manhattan, I created business cards that had my name, brand (“future fashion publicist”), phone number, email, blog website, and social media tag. That way when I went out to fashion events or met people I wished to connect with in the future, I had something to give them in exchange for their business card. Trust me, it makes your life a lot easier.
Shared Uber Rides. Unless you have $800 laying around every month to spend on monthly parking in Manhattan, you’re more than likely using other services for transportation like Uber, taxi’s, and the subway. During NYFW I took countless shared Uber rides. Ironically, I shared an Uber ride with two success young women in the fashion industry. I pegged this by noticing their Gucci loafers, Saint Laurent bomber jackets, Celine bag, and Louis Vuitton backpack. Now the average person would probably think, “oh, they must have a lot of money”, which could be true. But if they have a lot of money and dress so well, they probably have friends that dress well also or know someone that knows someone who you want to be in contact with. It turns out these two ladies were about their business; one owned her own line and the other one worked with one of the biggest fashion publicists in NYC – Robyn Berkeley. FINESSE. I happened to be on the phone with celebrity stylist Rosy Muto and we ended our conversation by me saying “omg bye bitch” (we have that kind of relationship). The two ladies thought it was so funny I would talk to my boyfriend like that, but I told them it wasn’t my boyfriend and that it was my boss (I’m her assistant). After telling them all that I did, my experience and exchanging business cards, I got offered a job at a showroom and got in contact with Robyn Berkeley.
So what I’m trying to say is never under estimate people and the contacts they may have in their Iphone. You will be amazed at the people you meet in the most absurd places. Furthermore, carry yourself with poise and be respectful. You never know who the person in line at Starbucks may be. If you have business cards, carry them with you at all times. Save a PDF of your resume on your email under drafts that way if you get someone’s email you can send them your resume right then and there. Most importantly never underestimate your abilities. You will be surprised at the strengths you unravel along the way of your wild life journey. Until next time…
Key Commandments of Being With a College Athlete
Over the course of 2016’s long summer months, I’ve been asked college athlete related questions by multiple girlfriends and even girls I don’t know. “How do you trust a college athlete” or “How do you be with one” are the questions that really generated my interest. No matter what school you go to, student athletes make up a major part of the campus population. Chances are if you’re in the dating scene you’ll likely hear about them messing around with multiple girls, or even worse, you’ll find yourself in the mix of all that nonsense. Whether he’s your long term boyfriend or someone you hooked up with last weekend, involving yourself with a college athlete can be overwhelming if you don’t know what you’re getting in to. I personally don’t talk about my love life on social media because I believe the best way to find happiness is to keep things between you and your significant other. But I do know a thing or two when it comes to being with “greatness”, so allow me to educate you ladies that think being with a college athlete is so glamorous – because with every perk, there’s a downfall.
Acceptance. The hardest thing for most ladies to understand is that an athlete’s time is very precious. Which means there is not always time for you but when he makes time, you better eat that sh*t up and enjoy every minute of it. And in most cases, student athletes have been playing their respective sport since they were little kids. They’ve dedicated more time, commitment, and tears to whatever it is they play then you can image. The amount of dedication to their sport has been years in the making and now they finally have the chance to represent their university or college with pride. If you are currently with a college athlete or plan to be in the future, understand that the dedication and time they give to their sport cannot be instantly applied to you. Early morning lifting and conditioning sessions can leave them feeling tired at the end of the day. Recognize and accept that there will be times where they need to put schoolwork or other commitments ahead of you.
Educate. If you don’t know anything about the sport he plays learn, and learn quickly. Now this doesn’t mean buy a bunch of books on his sport, read and take notes. But pay close attention to the terms he uses because verbiage is very important. The last thing you want to do is say touchdown when you really meant free-throw. You want to be able to give feedback and follow along in conversation when he tells you what he did at practice or when he’s with his teammates and they talk about last night’s game.
Needing Space. I know its human nature to assume your partner wants to end things when they say they “need space”. But when it comes to being with an athlete, 9/10 times that’s not the case. What a lot of ladies forget is that there are requirements and guidelines a student athlete has to follow. When he says he needs space, he may just want some time to relax and reset after a tough loss or demanding practice. Remember that even though he’s an athlete, he’s still a student too! Their schoolwork might be piling up and their coach might be telling them they need to focus on keeping their grades high. Whatever the case may be, don’t assume the worst as far as your relationship is concerned.
The Turn Up. If you’re one that goes out Thursday thru Sunday, you might want to reconsider being with an athlete. Often times, student athletes either have little time to dedicate to partying, or they simply aren’t allowed to (depending on the rules of the team). Some teams have dry seasons, where they can’t drink alcohol at all, and in light of that you may need to figure out other ways to have fun and enjoy his company.
New Friends. Become close with his teammates, they will become your next best friends. If he cares about you, they will too – plus you just made 10+ new friends on campus. His teammates are his family away from home, especially during season. So be prepared for midnight conversations with your boo and 5 more athletes sitting around in the living room (and believe me, you will always learn something new and interesting).
Time Apart. When they are in season most of your time will be spent apart but that does not mean you stop giving 100%. This is when you give that much more effort by staying involved such as keeping up with their away games, having interesting conversations and making them excited for the next time you both are reunited. Always motivate him, even if that means sending him motivational quotes or memes. Everyone deserves a little motivation before a game and it shows him you care even when you can’t be in the stands yelling with the rest of the moms.
Nap Time Meets Communication. Be respectful of his “nap time” because they will nap more than you ever thought was possible due to their crazy schedules. But if he truly cares about you he will text you before, after and even when he can’t fall asleep on long bus rides. Like any relationship, communication is vital. Be sure to talk to him, don’t play mind games, and avoid saying things you don’t mean.
Other Women. You’ll hear other girls in the stands talking about how hot #17 is. If she’s really brave, she will even try to talk to him after the game. Don’t throw a fit over that. I know that it’s easy to get jealous but remember, everyone loves an athlete. Just know that you’re the lucky one they’re going to go home to after the game. If you allow little things like that to bother you, you will cause drama and headache for not only him but also yourself. Realize that there will always be “thots” trying to go for your man. Instead of getting upset over their efforts, embrace the fact that YOU have him and they don’t.
Support. You are his safe haven that takes him away from the flashing lights, huddle ups, and pressure. You are his special someone that helps him relax. It’s more than likely that he’s looking for a comfortable relationship where he can really be himself. You’re his number one fan whether you like it or not. It’s an unwritten rule. Go to his games and cheer him on. You might not always love it, but he will and that’s what’s important.
I know there are a ton of ladies that love the idea of being with an athlete, but don’t really understand what it entails. Despite all the popularity, his attractive physique, and how goal oriented he may be, you need to know that there are sacrifices you are going to have to make and this lifestyle isn’t for everyone. I don’t say this to discourage you or make you second-guess your commitment with an athlete, but not all athletes are ready to settle down. But if that’s the case, so be it and move on! Not every athlete you meet is going to want to be with just you. But if you find that special one, hold on to him. Thus, before you jump in bed with your schools wide receiver or get attached to thought of being with the all-star point guard, keep these key commandments in mind. Until next time…
An Insider’s Guide to New York Fashion Week #NYFW
Before I get into the nitty-gritty of things I want to make something very clear to everyone that isn’t aware of what New York Fashion week, or fashion weeks in general, is about. Back in a simpler time, the fashion week was an industry event. The guest list was limited, the media coverage modest, and the interest generated relatively minor. It was originally created for people like buyers and editors to see what fabrics and trends designers were planning on bringing to the table in the upcoming season.
Today, fashion week is still a showcase of next season’s clothes. But it’s also a showcase of celebrities, press, parties, brand identity, bloggers and professional posers. Commercial yet creative; business-driven yet party-fuelled; selective yet open to the masses, it seems the only thing we can confidently pin a fashion week down as is being absolute mayhem. So when exactly is New York Fashion Week?
New York Fashion Week unofficially starts Wednesday September 7th with a dash of early shows. The official season begins on Thursday September 8th and ends Thursday September 15th, with more than 125 runway shows and presentations on the calendar and easily 100 more related events. Opening day starts with labels like Nicolas K, Tom Ford and Brock Collection. The weekend shows include Lacoste and Alexander Wang. Towards the end of this madness, it’s wrapped up with Ralph Lauren, Marc Jacobs and Calvin Klein. With so many shows over the course of 8 days, NYFW can’t be pin pointed to one location. Depending on the designer and time of day they vary from Broadway to Chelsea and even Rockefeller Plaza.
So many people have asked me if and how they can get tickets to NYFW – you can’t. It’s invite only, though there are exceptions. The week is essentially one uber-glam business convention, where the audience is a mix of media types, buyers from stores across the country and a of course trendsetters. As for um, regular people? Consumers were never really a part of the mix, but many designers are doing open-to-the-public shows. Tickets range from $80 to $1,595 per person and can be bought at websites like ticketmaster.com. So how am I going to fashion week? The question everyone and their mom has been asking me. I was chosen as the VIP seating/ host for shows September 12th to the 15th through DDR F&M Productions. This will entail hanging out with American Express cardholders in private lounges and when it’s time for the shows I will seat and sit with all the people considered worthy of front-row seating – celebrities, influencers and A-list bloggers. But this is not something to be taken lightly because before the first look comes down the runway, many attendees judge a show based on who is in the audience and most importantly the front-row.
So maybe you aren’t in the market to spend a thousand dollars for a 30-minute show or perhaps you don’t live anywhere near New York City, but you still want to stay up-to-date with the shows and all the chaos that goes into it. Lucky for you, websites like nyfw.com/live give live footage of the shows and even give you a taste of backstage. Otherwise your favorite designers will always have a recap of what you missed on their website following days to come. Until next time…
Featuring Brooke Bovee
“Let’s Talk About Sex Baby”
In today’s culture there are so many forms of toxic socialization like religion, values, and expectations with gender, race and class. But what is always relevant but never spoken of is sex. It’s always said that there’s a lot of pressure on women — both from ourselves and sometimes our partners — to meet certain expectations in and around the bedroom. And with so many expectations hovering over us, a lot of women aren’t having as much fun in bed as they should be having. But despite the common unfair expectations us women have in the bedroom, I thought I’d talk about what women really look for. What are our wants, needs and expectations? If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you know I love to put my two cents in and express my opinion. However this time around I put things into other people’s hands. I interviewed college women to get a different perspective as to what a guy’s last night hookup was really looking for. There are a number of things women are thinking about when it comes to sex that tend to go unsaid, but you men should probably know them anyway.
Getting right down to it without foreplay. We’re taught from movies that simultaneous orgasm happens during sex every time. But let’s be real, since women generally don’t come the way men do, it often works out that the ‘ladyfriend’ comes during foreplay, followed by the dude once actual penetrative sex starts. And that’s great! For the love of God, have a ton of foreplay. Because at the very least if you’re not turned on you’ll be dry, which is painful and unhealthy. But before you ladies even get to foreplay yet alone bring home a guy, what are the deciding factors to whether or not you sleep with him?
I posed the question “what do you look for in a sex partner” to a junior fashionista at Kent State University. Her response was, “I generally look for someone with good mannerisms. They way they act and their tone of voice is really important. I also look at where his eyes travel when he’s talking to me and at what points he smiles during conversation. When it comes to actually being in the bedroom, I want someone with a good balance of soft and rough. At the end of the day you just have to be good.”
I asked the same question to a fashion enthusiast from University of Minnesota that’s a senior. She said, “I expect my sex partner to be with me over everything. I want them to be able to have other girls but choose me. Nonetheless, it’s important we have common interests and values. If you have history with the person that makes things a little bit more comfortable because you know what to expect. As far as looks, I look for a good ‘gym bod’. But before we even have sex they have to have good body language – how and where they touch me during conversation. I also like to know sexual history because if you have a laundry list of people you’ve slept with I’m less likely to sleep with you. After everything is said and done I expect them to text me after we have sex. Not necessarily right after but a ‘hey how are you’ later that week is always appreciated.”
After having ‘the sex talk’ with these two ladies, I realized it’s a social misconception for women to want someone with a big package. It’s talked about so much in media and in college girls group chats on how big he was, but does that really matter? Women want to feel wanted. I know that sounds like a given but when a man takes his time with her and really engages himself mentally, physically and emotionally it makes it that much better. When women are comfortable with you they won’t think twice on trying something new or changing positions – it will come naturally. So ladies, pay close attention to how me makes you feel. And fellas, set yourself apart from all the other guys at the party so she knows exactly who she wants to bring home at the end of the night. Until next time…
Featuring Brooke Bovee
7 Days Living in the Big Apple:
I remember packing up the last bit of my things in my suitcase, the drive to the airport early that Sunday morning, and hugging my parent’s goodbye for the next couple months before I embark this crazy journey like it was yesterday. This wasn’t going to be the first time I’ve been to the Big Apple, but it was going to be the first time I moved to a place where I only knew a handful of people that I probably would rarely see just because of our overlapping schedules. So I’ve survived my first week in the “city that never sleeps”, but what exactly do am I doing here?
BCBG MAX AZRIA. Before I get into the long nights in VIP at clubs or the endless amounts of shopping choices I have, I should probably tell you the main reason I decided to take the semester off to jumpstart my career. I am a PR (Public Relations) intern at BCBG Max Azria’s showroom in Manhattan. On a typical day, I listen to music on my walk to the office, stop at Coffee Bean in Times Square to get an overpriced iced white chocolate latté, and then I finally stroll onto the 17th floor of 1450 Broadway. So it’s finally 9a.m. and I made it to my desk. I more than likely have a couple emails from editors and stylist for magazines like Vogue, Harpers Bazaar, and People Style Watch looking for specific silhouettes or pieces for their 2-3 page magazine spread or in some cases a celebrity has an event coming up – so lucky me, I get to dress them. Yes, I deal with celebrities. The first 10 minutes on my first day I learned how to do runway returns and this particular return happened to be from Kim Kardashian. She needed an Herve swimsuit for a shoot but unfortunately for her, her bodacious rump didn’t fit into the bottoms – shocker. But enough about work and having to create outfits for Zendaya and Selena Gomez, let’s talk about how my snap chat stories have been so “lit”.
VIP MONDAY THRU SUNDAY. Yeah, I said it. I’m on the guest list for VIP Monday thru Sunday at all of the celebrity hotspot clubs in NYC. I drink top shelf booze and I never pay for drinks whenever I go out. I don’t wait in long lines and I’ve been with celebrities like Bryson Tiller, Rihanna and 2 Chainz. But before I have you thinking my life is so lavish, let me give you a little 411. It’s not what it seems. I get VIP because I am blessed to know promoters that hang out with these celebrities day in and day out. So what’s so bad about it? These people aren’t really your friends. Yeah, you make small talk, cheers to the night, and post pics on your snap story like these people have been your best friend since 2nd grade. But the truth is it takes you forever to find something to wear because there’s a dress code, you’re limited to how many people you can bring so most of the time you go by yourself, and although you’re in a celebrities VIP the chances of them actually talking to you are slim to none. And the moment you even pose yourself as a fan, security is already escorting you out. Bitter sweet huh?
SHOPPING. If you know anything about New York you know that it’s expensive. Unlike the Midwest, they have 10% tax (it’s killing me). So many people have asked if my wardrobe has done a 180 but the reality is, it hasn’t! Yes, I’ve invested in some timeless black pieces to mix n’ match with my daily outfits but living out here is expensive. After restaurant tabs, Uber prices, and morning coffee you’re left with damn near nothing. And even if you had the wallet of Bill Gates, New York days are ultimately longer because of all the things you have to get done with work and your personal life. I don’t know about you but sleep is very important to me, maybe even a little more important than shopping.
All in all New York is the place to be. Despite the lifestyle adjustment and being homesick at night, I think I’m starting to really like it here. I know there are a bucket load of things I will encounter along the way and things I still need to learn, but it’s giving me the opportunity to really find myself; career, friends, and social life. I get to learn what it really takes to have the dream job I want and figure out if this is where I truly want to make the big move to after college. But for now I’ll just enjoy the city view from my rooftop over a glass of wine and think about big kid things later. Until next time…
My Boyfriend Says I’m Too “Smothering”
If it’s one thing I love thus far about Trending Prosperity is not only do I have frequent readers but I have frequent topic requests – keep them coming! A couple weeks ago I was asked to do a specific post that really sparked my interest. Something that I think any girl currently in a relationship or in a relationship in the future can benefit from. This young lady told me her boyfriend wanted space but she was “smothering” him. Well how much space is too little or not enough? And why does he feel “smothered”? These are all things I’m sure she asked herself, so I figured I’d do her and other young women out there a favor. Welcome to boyfriend 101; how to keep your man happy and not be the “smothering” type.
I always get asked “why are you single” by girls that think I have it all or guys that have interest in me but are oblivious to know that they are no where near what I’m interested in. But the thing is I’m a great listener and pretty good at giving advice. But as far as my personal love life, why do I need to be in a relationship or have a title on any engagements I have for that matter..? A lot of ladies are so quick to get pissed at there men, whether it be serious or not, and post it on all social media platforms. Stop putting your business out there and using social media to vent about every single time you and your boyfriend have the slightest little fight. Love each other enough to keep that sh*t on the low and not put it out there for the world to see. Because let me tell you something, chances are a lot of the same girls that are commenting “#relationshipgoals” with heart eyes under your Instagram pictures with him… are the same girls that will drop their panties for him without a second thought at the slightest instability in your relationship. Which brings me back to communication. You’re in a relationship with your BOYFRIEND not social media.
Okay, so maybe you’re not one to post your problems with him on social media.. or maybe you don’t use social media at all. But you’re that girlfriend that is always on his d*ck. You’re constantly calling him even though you know he’s busy and if he takes 1 second longer than he should have to respond, you’re upset with him. The thing is a lot people (girls in particular) forget or don’t know that all developing relationships require a delicate balance between intimacy and independence. It is so easy to fall into the trap of being dependent on your significant other if you stop doing the things you did before you were with that person. Now this doesn’t mean continue to go on multiple dates a week with different people even though you’re in a committed relationship. But don’t forget about the things YOU like to do and especially your friends. The last thing you want to be is that girlfriend that got a boyfriend and now only focuses her time on him. Because he’s everything right? Wrong. Yes, he makes you happy and he supports your goals and ambition.. but don’t lose sight of who YOU are. Create an equal balance – time for him and most importantly time for you. When he says he’s with his boys or you know he has a busy day, give him space and focus on things you need to get done. But remember sending him cute texts like “thinking of you”and “i miss you” throughout the day is never frowned upon – guys won’t admit it but they love attention.
So now you know what not to do on social media and how to balance “us” time and “me” time.. but how do you keep things interesting? All the tips I gave above are from a girl perspective (me), which is great, but I went further and reached out to a guy that I knew would keep it real and tell me what guys really want and look for. Alright, so things are great between you and him. You’ve met his family and vise versa, you two never really fight, etc. But sometimes girls get comfortable and forget that it’s important that you keep things on edge, especially in the bedroom. “A guy wants a girl that surprises him. Put something on me that I haven’t experienced before. Be willing to try something crazy! Surprise me! Keep me on my toes! This may sound bad but see yourself as a side chick that’s trying to win your man over. Be creative! You’re never too old to do in the backseat of the car before a movie. You know it’s real when HE wants to post on your snap story or his own social media. He wants to show you off to the world and let everyone know you’re here to stay. Most importantly be your mans medicine, not his headache”. Your man may never tell you these things verbally, but trust that these are things he’s never opposed to. Until next time…
I’m Living Out of a Suitcase…
When it comes to the space I live in, I am the biggest minimalist. But as far as wardrobe goes I have everything and anything I need and don’t need. Not to mention when I travel I want to bring everything for those ‘just in case’ situations. However moving to New York for 4 months didn’t really worry me because I thought, “oh I can just put everything in suitcases and I’ll be good” – SIKE. I completely disregarded the 50 pound weight maximum that kills me overtime I travel. Not only did I ignore the weight limit but I also forgot that I would be the one having to haul these suitcases to and from the airport, taxi, apartment building, etc. And even though I’m on this crazy adventure for 4 months, no one told me moving across the country would be this hard.
So why the hell am I in New York City? Well if you’ve been an advocate follower, you know back in April I got offered a PR internship with BCBG Max Azria…. Well now I’m here. And it’s great so far (considering today is day 2). Although walking 5-6 NEW YORK BLOCKS can be tiring and learning what to do and how to do it as a PR intern can be a little nerve-wracking.. I like it! But a part from sending out samples and emailing stylists/ editors all day, I plan on obviously going out and making some what of a name for myself. So how do I do it? How do I pack enough for those laid back summer nights, long days at the office, and sex appealing clothes at night? Ha, yeah I haven’t really figured that out yet. But what I do know and what you can keep in mind if YOU ever have to live out of a suitcase, are some key tips – do’s & don’ts.
1. Eliminate. The first, most important step is to get rid of everything you don’t need. Things that you’ve kept ‘just in case’, extras, backups, things that don’t work or fit, things you don’t use or have forgotten about or simply don’t like – it’s all got to go. Most people have more things they don’t need than they do, so a sensible approach that might make it easier would be to mentally get rid of everything then bring back one by one things that are most essential to you. Be strict and firm and ask questions such as how often you actually use it and what reasons you’re really keeping it for.
2. Minimalize your wardrobe. Clothing is usually the most difficult area to tackle when it comes to downsizing. When you have fewer garments, it’s important that most items can be worn in most kinds of weather and occasions. If you’re in New York, like me, you know black is a great safe haven. Invest in a lot of black and basics that you can mix n’ match.
3. Adapt. If you find yourself starting to accumulate stuff, try to remind yourself why you chose OBL (one bag living) in the first place. What are you doing it for? Has it benefited you so far? Sometimes people are too strict and allow themselves too little. Remember that minimalism isn’t about deprivingyourself of things that you want, it’s about freeing yourself from the clutches of consumerism so that you can have the life you want.
Lastly, it’s important to remember that situations and people change, and that not many people can live a single kind of lifestyle forever, whether it’s OBL or living at home with one’s parents or a college, or corporate, or even country lifestyle. People crave excitement, and OBL can give it to you, but don’t be surprised if you see yourself looking for a change again – maybe a change of wardrobe or maybe a change of scenery. Until next time…
People always compliment me on my blog post topics and use of words. But what they don’t understand is that I read – I read into all topics I talk about. If you really know me, you know that I am so quirky and I love learning about new things, especially when it comes to things I can use in my everyday life. Someone anonymous asked me for relationship advice over some things she had been going through and me being me, I figured she wasn’t the only one struggling with these things so I told her I’d do a blog post for her. Relationships.
It is so crazy to me that in this day and age so many people will settle for a friend that asks to hangout only when they don’t have anything better to do or a relationship with a guy that only makes time for you when his side hoes are unavailable.. because that’s normal right? No. That is only normal now because we’ve inherited this disgusting habit and personality that is me, me, me. As this summer winds down and people are getting ready to go back into routine with classes, Friday night parties that always get shut down, and stressful Tuesdays struggling to figure out why you’re just now realizing you have a final tomorrow morning.. I thought we’d go back to basics.
I know there’s that saying “good girls always get hurt” or “real friends don’t do that”. But the fact of the matter is EVERYONE gets hurt and your friend from 3rd grade is a real friend – they just don’t understand time management. Now I don’t know who’s to blame; your household, personal morals, or this society. But regardless of who or what should get the finger pointed at it’s important to know that YOU are in control of all the healthy or unhealthy relationships you choose to engage in. Whether or not the other party(s) reciprocates that same energy and time to you is not your problem because you can only do what YOU can do. So let’s get right into – relationship 101…
“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” ~Anthony Robbins. Relationship problems often result from poor communication. You don’t have to become a chatterbox to effectively communicate. Simply check in with each other once in a while. Find out if the relationship is working for your partner by asking questions like: “How are things between us? Is there something you need from me that you’re not getting?” When couples stop communicating, they become roommates instead of soulmates and might ultimately get their needs met elsewhere.
The same goes for that person who may or may not have been your best friend. You may think that your friendship is great – Pinterest goals. You two talk regularly and that person is always there for you, the highs and lows. But reality is you’re not giving that person the same commitment. You are so wrapped up in your life and success that you forget to simply ask how the other person is doing. And when that friend gets sick of your lack of communication and compassion, they find a new “best friend”. And now you don’t look at them as an ex-best friend but also a b*tch.
Now there are other things that are fundamental to any good relationship whether it be with family, friends, or your significant other. Such as time, commitment, courage, compromise and compassion. But I truly believe communication is the biggest one of all. If you have horrible communication how are you going to know when you’re doing something wrong or better yet right? I am one who feeds off the knowledge that I did or can do something better. And it’s always about how you end your day. I’d love to be with a guy that understands me and walks me home in the rain rather then in the passenger seat of an $80,000 car unhappy because the guy I thought I was with is too busy texting another girl instead of asking me how my day was. Always keep what you deserve insight. Until next time…
Perfect Imperfections: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
If you would have asked me 4 months ago if I would ever write a blog post such as this one, I would have easily responded with a “f*ck no”. But ever since I started Trending Prosperity I’ve learned a lot about myself, the people I used to and currently surround myself with, and how I want to carry myself. So many girls DM me or come up to me when I’m out and ask “how are you so confident” “how are you so successful with what you do” “how can you brush off all the shade people give you”. If there’s one thing I want anyone and everyone to know that reads my posts is that I’m not perfect. I haven’t always been confident. And it’s taken years for me to hold myself the way I do in public and even at home. I wake up everyday, look in the mirror and know who I am. The one thing I’ve learned in my 21 years of living is that you can’t live for anyone but yourself. But before I realized that I struggled with a lot of self hate and doubt.
I know everyone says “I’m a changed person” when it comes to certain things like relationships or trusting others, but when I say I am a changed person I’m referring to my life battles I’ve overcome. During adolescence, 9th and 10th grade to be exact, I did everything and anything to fit in. I would wake up extra early to make sure I had just enough time to shower, pick out a cute outfit, and do my makeup (even though I didn’t really know what I was doing). But my obsession to be everything to my friend group and guys that I had interest in got out of hand. I started watching everything I ate, counted calories, and would skip lunch at times. I don’t want to say I suffered from anorexia but I was so obsessed with my appearance, what people thought of me, and what the media said was the “right way” too look.
Soon enough I got over my ‘100 less calories’ phase and became very sensitive to everything around me. During this time my sister was in the last phase of her muscular dystrophy battle so my parents invested all of their time into her needs and wants. The summer going into sophomore year of college I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and depression. I do believe to a certain extent that you control everything that happens in your life, especially your happiness. But having such a controlling disease such as that makes you not only feel stuck but sick to your stomach. It’s like being anxious to get so many things done but not having the motivation to get out of bed.
During this time I was not only fighting for my parents attention but I was in an extremely toxic relationship that was long overdue to end. I developed a compulsive disorder called trichotillomania. Trichotillomania is one of a group of behaviors known as Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs). It causes you to pull out your hair. I know a lot of people get stressed or frustrated and say they want to pull out your hair – but I actually did. Whenever I got really anxious or nervous about something important coming up or things going on in my life, I would impulsively pull my eyelashes. I know that sounds painful and almost repulsive but it’s what I did. I would sit on my bathroom counter for up to 45 mins and pick my eyelids bare. I would cry in my room with so much frustration and disappointment that I couldn’t control this outrageous behavior. Not to mention I felt that I couldn’t really talk to anyone about it because it’s something that most think is controllable.
Since day one I said Trending Prosperity would be my safe haven. Somewhere I can share all my thoughts, ideas and struggles. The things I shared above are things only my closest friends and family know about me. But you guys are now my family and it’s only fair that I keep it 100 with you. I surround myself with positive people and make lists of all the good things that I’m blessed with. When I get the urge to pull my lashes I distract myself with different activities and try my best to get out of the house. These are things I will probably struggle with for the rest of my life but I make sure to take things one day at a time. A lot of people see these amazing things their friends are doing or follow these ‘baddies’ on Instagram that have thousands of likes and followers… don’t be fouled. Everyone is fighting their own battles and carry their own demons to bed at night. People will only display what they want you to know about them on social media. So don’t say “I want to be her”. Yes, you can aspire to have her success in a field you wish to be in. But never compare yourself to someone and want to be them. You need to be your own person. Don’t just love yourself but fall completely and totally in love with yourself – especially the imperfections. The moment you do that, everything else will fall into place. Until next time…
Beauty Mistakes and How to Avoid Them…
Every girl wants to be everything and more when it comes to beauty 101, but there are some things that you may be doing on a daily basis that are actually hurting you rather then elevating you above every other girl next to you. So allow me to go over some everyday beauty mistakes girls tend to make and teach you how to avoid them.
First things first, “expensive products are better”… It is believed that only expensive brands and products go a long way in keeping your skin healthy and free from any skin-related problems. But the fact is that they almost do the same job that probably a less expensive product would do. I know we all find ourselves in line at Sephora adding unnecessary nick-neck things to our already overpriced sub-total because it’s from Sephora so it has to be better then anything you’ll find on the Target shelves – WRONG. Everyones skin is different and although $10 makeup wipes may work well for you, don’t be frowned upon trying a different and cheaper alternative.
Besides buying the right products for your skin it’s important to use the products correctly! My biggest pet-peeve is seeing girls rush when applying their makeup… TAKE YOUR TIME!!! Do your makeup patiently. When you apply a moisturiser on your skin before makeup, it needs time to dry, so give it a minute before you start applying your foundation. You cannot hurry along with some things, because patience can give you results like nothing else can. If you hurry, the creaminess of the moisturiser can cause the makeup to thin out. So, if you apply it too quickly, you’ll get a streaky look. And that’s not a good look especially if your goal is to look anywhere remotely like Kim K.
I know you may be proud of your contour due to your new Anastasia Contour Kit, but sleeping in your makeup is a big no-no. “The more you sleep while wearing your makeup, the greater the damage there is to your skin,” says dermatologist Jeannette Graf, MD, assistant clinical professor of dermatology at Mount Sinai Medical Center, NY. “Our skin, like the rest of our body, functions on the circadian rhythm. At night the skin’s most important function is to renew itself. Wearing makeup and foundation at night prevents the renewal process, causing damage to the skin.” Remember, it’s one thing to fall asleep with it on due to a drunken night but try your best to not bring that bad habit into your daily routine. Until next time…
How Are We Getting Through College?!?
This may sound ridiculous considering I’m soon going to be entering my senior year of college, but I’ve recently realized us college students as a whole have common struggles whether it’s relationship issues, money, grades, and of course food choices. So I’d like to go ahead and address some of these issues head on.
First things first, can we recap over freshman year.. or maybe even last night (Ramen Noodles)? The thought of me slurping that ungodly sodium overdosed “food” we all have ate at some point during our college careers makes me cringe. It is one thing to eat it every now and then but how in the hell did I find myself eating that garbage 4-5 times a week freshman year?! Oh yeah that’s right, it’s only $2.25 for a 12 pack which means the remainder of my $20 could go towards other things – like booze. And not to mention that kid, that may or may not have been your roommate, who was obsessed with Mac n’ Cheese. Carbs are my weakness, but we’ve got to put a cap on it guys! There are other good and HEALTHY things you can eat. Don’t fall victim to the typical college ways or even worse.. freshman 15.
Moving along, the next thing on my list of things to rant and unite about is time management. I don’t care how organized your planner may be or how early you showed up to your last doctors appointment (because you got the times mixed up).. we’ve all experienced bad time management firsthand. I am one who is generally organized and I like to get things done. Now I never said I like to get things done in advance, but I get them done. I think us college students have perfected time management that it amazes people on the outside world how we finish midterm papers the night before they’re due or study for a final while watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians and on Twitter. Believe me when I say it even amazes me and I live that lifestyle. But how do we become better at time management? Where is the “How to Adult 101” handbook?
Amongst being extremely hungover at work the next day after a long night of drinking or joining clubs just for the monthly meetings that supply free food, you need to understand that we’re all in this together. I know we all come from different backgrounds and values but at the end of the day we’re all there for the same reason and have so many things in common. My dearest friend, Kathryn Seiler, and I were talking about it being extremely difficult to “adult”. What is “adulting” and how do you do it? It’s messing up numerous times and learning from your mistakes. So yeah you may have spent part of your rent money at the bars last weekend weekend – everything is a learning lesson. It will get easier. I can’t say I’ve lived and learned from college because I’m still here with my extremely expensive taste and low income. But the important thing is to know that we’re all fighting the same battle, in all avenues. You will get it together and not live paycheck-to-paycheck. But until then, enjoy the nights you have with your friends over cheap wine and pizza. Until next time…
Prove Them WRONG #motivate
I’ve looked at all avenues to help me write this blog post. It’s been the hardest to write but I think it’s the most genuine because it comes from within me whole heartedly. The past couple of weeks have been very hard. I know it’s summer and everyone has been trying to enjoy the nice weather by the pool – which is awesome. But I have to be honest with myself when I say I’ve been a big negative self talker. I am so hard on myself when it comes to acceptance from others and being good enough for myself.
Reflecting back on the past couple of weeks I’ve realized I’ve lost sight of my inner joy and happiness. Now I’m not saying I’ve been MIA and undergone depression because that’s not the case. But I’ve been so caught up in other peoples thoughts of me; guys, friends, and family. The positive comments isn’t what has been eating up at me but the negative ones. I’ve realized that self acceptance is a big factor in your health and inner happiness.
So what do I mean by “Prove Them WRONG #motivate”? Proving them wrong is not necessarily rubbing your successes in peoples faces but rather self satisfaction of accomplishing something that people told you you weren’t capable of or good enough. #Motivate comes from the fact that you should always find things in your daily life to motivate you. Because at the end of the day YOU are in control of YOUR life, no one else. You have to go to bed with your failures and successes. And regardless of the circumstance, you need to find a reason to keep going because you are such a beautiful person with so much potential… even if the person next to you doesn’t see it.
And that’s another thing. Sometimes you have to detach yourself from people that don’t have the same goals and aspirations as you. Okay, so you two clicked at first and had a really good time… GREAT! But now things aren’t being seen eye-to-eye… THAT’S FINE! I always told myself that it was me that messed things up because they didn’t see what I saw or I ruined things because I wasn’t good enough; that’s bullshit. Sometimes people don’t have the same spirit as you and you have to let them go. You two are on different frequencies and all though that sucks, that’s normal. Everything happens for a reason and God is sending you someone that is on the same level as you. My mom always told me “happiness is a choice. Focusing on the negativity in your life only brings you down. Things always get better so be happy and smile.” And she is so right! You have to let negative people live in their negative world and if they don’t like you then F*CK THEM!
There’s going to be people who love you and there’s going to be people who hate you. We’re all human at the end of the day. I’m trying to not react to hate and what not… and it hits me in my heart but I just realize that this is how the world is and this is what it’s going to be forever. Until next time…
Books That Should Be On Every College Girls Reading List This Summer
I am a big sucker for a book that’s going to get me out of any weird funk I’m in and boost my self confidence. Whatever the circumstance may be it’s never a bad idea to take some time away from this crazy world and spend time alone. Run yourself a bath, grab a glass of wine and indulge into that new book you just picked up. I know that might sound a little cliche or something that you’d see in a movie (which it is), but sometimes you just need a little TLC that only you can give yourself.
I have been taking a lot of risks the past couple of months – work, career, boys and self development. Which is why I’m obsessed with Normal Gets You Nowhere by Kelly Cutrone. Now I’m only in the first couple chapters of the book but it explains exactly what the title says. Author of If You Have To Cry, Go Outside has once again put her readers into perspective. What is normal anyway? Cutrone says that it’s a pattern and standard that boring people follow and I completely agree with her. In this book, you will be invited to get your freak on! Cutrone talks about her experience in a superficial industry while mentioning world-changing people from history. If you’re in serious need of a book that’s going to kick your ass into gear and remind you that you need to remain authentic, then this is the book for you.
Ahh, my favorite self development book that I religiously go back to when I’m “in my feelings” or just need reassurance – The Power of Positive Thinking by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale. Your mind is the source of everything and positive thinking is very vital for success. I truly believe in and practice the art of positive thinking. What you think of yourself and your life is what the outcome will be. Peale explains that with a positive mindset you will experience happy feelings. The power of your thoughts is a mighty power that can either be used in a negative or positive way. But you only live once so why not think positive. Plus, they always say what you believe is what will become.
Okay so now that we’ve got the mushy stuff out of the way like staying true to yourself and self confidence, I’d like to take the honors in talking about my all time holy grail book by THE Amber Rose. How to Be a Bad Bitch is one of those books you can read in sections and skip around without being too lost in the sauce. I know the title can be a bit alarming and you may not want to tell your grandma or church group this is your book of choice for the summer, but it has a lot of good content any college girl or young women in her 20’s can learn from. Rose talks about her persistence in wanting to be successful in the industry she is now taking full storm. From her childhood in Philly to her first music video she was in, Rose takes you through her life journey and shares with readers things to remember that will keep you sane. I love this book just because it’s the perfect book for all aspects in life – self confidence, relationships, career success, etc. You ARE bad b*tch and don’t let anyone tell you any different. Carry yourself with confidence and remain humble.
Photographer & Stylist – Paige Amdahl
How to Overcome REJECTION.
First and foremost, I apologize for being MIA this past week. Not only did I have a lot going on in my personal life but I wanted to build enough content for my next post – How to Overcome Rejection. I originally wanted to speak upon job rejection but I feel like that limits some individuals from gaining something big. So I tweaked the title, grabbed a cup of coffee, and got right to it.
Rejection is something we all deal with every day of our lives. Whether it’s work related, getting approved for that credit line you really “need”, friends, family, etc. The thing is you get the point. But some rejections hurt more than others. Why is that? Because we don’t care as much about some things as we do others. It all falls back to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. In a pyramid diagram, it explains why certain things have a higher demand and are more necessary. So if your love life isn’t up to par and that is one of your demanding needs, getting rejection will suck.
Okay so you got rejected from that job you thought would be your next big break or the guy you were talking to sucks at communication skills and is now with this other girl that you hate simply because she “took your man”. Regardless of the source of rejection, it all sucks. So that’s why I want to share with you the things I do to stay positive and overcome that.
As human beings we have a strong need for feeling secure. I don’t know about you but I hate the feeling of insecurity, hopelessness, and abandonment. So what do I do to make sure I don’t fall into that endless dark pit? I reflect and make a list. Everyone and anyone that knows me knows that I am OBSESSED with making lists. It stems from my overly organized personality and I feel as though I am less likely to forget to do something plus the satisfaction of crossing things off of my to-do list is so gratifying. When making your list put positive things on there that you can and want to accomplish. For example, my lists always consist of things that make me feel good about myself such as working out, cleaning my room, getting laundry done, calling my grandma, etc.
- You do not suck.
So the job you really wanted told you “the position has already been filled at this time but we will keep your resume on file and contact you in the future”. Don’t worry, every 1 in 3 people has heard that line before in their life. I for one, have heard that multiple times. This doesn’t mean you’re necessarily under qualified for the position or suck at life. There are so many circumstances that could have taken place but the one thing to remember is that you did everything YOU could have done. There are certain things that are and will always be out of your control and that’s fine! Because guess what… WHO CARES?! You are only in control of your life; thoughts and actions. If you go into everything you do full throttle and to your best of your ability then that’s all that matters. Some people won’t like you for their own personal reasons but that’s none of your business. Don’t kill yourself over the idea that you “suck”. You don’t, the situation does. Think of what went wrong that YOU could have controlled and make a plan of attack on how you will change that next time around.
2. He doesn’t like me.
The worst rejection I’ve overcome was over a guy. Not necessarily because it was a guy and things didn’t work out but because of the way it made me feel and how much control of my life I gave to him. Ladies, NEVER allow a man to make you think any less of your worth. This is the number one way to undergo love depression and f*ck things up with the next good guy down the road. So you two didn’t work out and you would have “gave him the world”… that’s fine!!! It didn’t work out for a reason. Maybe he has insecurities, doesn’t want to be committed, or doesn’t like the way you part your hair for whatever reason. Let it be! Don’t say you can change or that you’ll be better. That’s a bunch of bullshit if you ask me. You should be with someone that is obsessed with every little bit of you. From the way you brush your teeth in the morning and even to the way you part your hair. I know that sounds a little like a fairytale but those guys do exist. Have I found one yet? No. But my parents have been married for 36 years and my dad still treats my mom like the queen she is. So who cares if he’s with someone else, 9 out of 10 times that girl doesn’t have half as much to offer as you. Plus he did you a favor by letting you go and allowing you to find someone who texts you cute things at night for you to wake up to.
3. Overall rejection.
I could go on and on about possible rejection scenarios but I don’t have that kind of time and you’re probably not in the market to read a blog post the length of a book. So I speed things up and get right to the point. Rejection sucks, yes we know this. But there are some things you can do to overcome it and realize you are everything sweetheart. You don’t need a boy to tell you your pretty or a job that rejected you to call you back 6 months down the road because the other person they originally hired quit because they hated it. No, absolutely not! You need to strengthen your faith. By faith I don’t mean go to church 3 times a week. I mean stand by what you believe in and how you want to be treated. Plan a girls night with your friends, go out to eat with your mom because you know you haven’t seen her in God knows how long, get ready and take really cute selfies, tweak your resume and make sure you research the next company you apply to a little more, and last but not least read a book. Remember what you stand for because no one else will be there to remind you. One of my favorite professors, Cindy Marshall, has always been there for me and has given me the best advice when I’m in a slump. “As soon as you leave the house you’re on a stage. And once your on that stage you are always in the driver seat. You control everything in your life, especially your thoughts. Everything revolves around law of attraction. Whatever you think and feel is what will come back to you. Don’t ever sell yourself short and never think you’re anything but the best because that’s exactly what you are.” Until next time.
S/S 2016 Must Haves
The weather is slowly but surly warming up so it’s time to replace that extra thick hydrating moisturizer you’ve been using during the cold months with a light, yet still hydrating, moisturizer that’s not only going to moisturize your face but protect you from the suns harsh rays. And although I love a deep burgundy on my lips, lets try.. maybe pink – it’s less intimidating.
Moisturizer – It is soooo important to protect your body and most importantly your face from the sun. I know you’ve been waiting for this 70 degree weather for months but lets not get too excited. I’ve recently invested in an awesome sun screen that I use on my face. Now I’ve only been using it for a week so I can’t say too much about it but so far I’m loving it! It’s the Neutrogena “Pure & Free Baby Sunscreen (SPF 60)”. I know you’re probably wondering why the heck I’m using a sunscreen lotion that’s made for babies… well let me explain. Babies have very fine skin layers and are twice as susceptible to sunburn due to their lack of experience in the sun like you and me. I care about not only what goes into my body but what goes on my body as well. Although I don’t have very sensitive skin to breakouts when trying new products I always find my nose either getting sunburnt or a rash during the summer months from the sun.
Lips – I know I mentioned trying a new lip color such as pink this spring and summer but I never said completely throwout your favorite deep lip color. There are occasions where an intense lip color is called for and that’s totally fine! My two favorite lip colors that are complete night & day to each other are Mac’s “Matte Smoked Purple Lipstick” and Nars “Tiber Lip Gloss” lined with BareMinerals Marvelous Lipliner in “Exhilarated”. They are both flawless with either a smokey eye or that perfect Kim K bronze look.
Eyebrows – Anyone and everyone knows my eyebrows are just as important to me as my eyelash extensions. I would trade months away from my highlighter and bronzer in replace for my brow pencil. For the most part I have pretty full and naturally shaped eyebrows but the eyebrow pencil helps enhance and tweak those certain areas. I am a very strong advocate for the Anastasia brow wiz in “Dark Brown” but for whatever reason I flip flop between that and the Hourglass Arch Brow Sculpting Pencil in “Warm Brunette”. Although they are both brow pencils and are suppose to give you the same outcome, surprisingly enough my brows come out completely different when using both products. I’ve recently gravitated to the Hourglass brand just because I’ve been obsessed with a neater looking brow. Gotta make sure those brows are on FLEEK!
Bronzer – While in New York City I ran across the Sephora in Times Square and of course I impulsively went in. The Sephora in Times Square was twice as big than the one back at home and they carried all the same brands such as Nars, BareMinerals, Kat Von D, and all the rest. But what really attracted me to this particular Sephora is their selection in high-end makeup brands like Tom Ford, YSL, and Givenchy. Somehow I ran across my now everyday bronzer Givenchy “Mister Radiant Gel Bronzer”. After testing it on the back of my hand I was in line more than ready to spend $41 on this 30 ML bottle. I know that seems like a lot of money for such a small amount of product but let me explain why not only myself but so many makeup artist rave about this bronzer. First and foremost it’s a GEL bronzer. The little multi-colored beads (bronzer) melt when rubbed into your face while the gel inside gives you that dewy look. It can be applied to just the cheekbone area or all over the face (I prefer all over the face). It gives you that healthy glow not to mention its hydrating. I use a dime size almost every morning on top of my moisturizer. It was money well spent.
I know their are many more things I could cover like makeup brushes you should and shouldn’t buy, mascaras that give you the most bang for your buck, and concealers that give you complete coverage without making you look like you caked on makeup. But I thought why not keep it minimal to the things that have recently found their way into my makeup bag. What’s in your bag?
The Final 4: Stay Healthy on the Go
Career girls are hardworking, goal oriented, passionate, and most of all, busy. The busy lifestyle that comes with trying to be the best in our careers and lives can lead to constantly being on the go. For times when you need some refreshing ideas to stay healthy, here are 4 easy ways to stay in tip-top shape when you’re on the go.
- Take some time the night before
We all say it, but we never do it. Taking 10-15 minuets to fill a container with delicious and healthy snacks the night before a long day can help you eliminate the extra time spent at the gym due to your impulsive decision to go to the McDonalds drive-thru. Plan your meals a week in advance if possible. Here are some of my favorite must haves:
– Celery or carrots with low-fat ranch
– Greek yogurt with vanilla granola
– Turkey sandwich (yum!)
The water used to make your morning coffee does not count! You should be drinking AT LEAST 3-4 water bottles on average a day. This is something I feel that I’m good at for a couple days, but then soon enough find myself drinking Coke with tomorrow’s lunch. It is so important for you to drink water throughout the day because it not only makes you feel full faster, but it helps regulate your body temperature, makes your skin glow (no this doesn’t mean you’re pregnant), and it has many more benefits.
- Invest in Things You Love to Encourage Health
I know this may sound a little silly, but spending an extra couple bucks on a cute and trendy reusable water bottle is always a good way to encourage you to drink more water. This also goes hand-in-hand with buying nifty food containers to put your healthy snacks in. Apart from buying these things, you can always use your phone as a helpful reminder. Being part of a tech savvy generation, there are so many “health and fitness” apps you can get that will keep you on the right track. Some that you will always find on my iPhone are:
– Sweat with Kayla
- Rest Up!
This is something I can’t stress enough – GET MORE SLEEP. In order for you to give 100% of your effort day-to-day, you need to get at least 8 hours of sleep. Now this doesn’t mean being in bed at 9pm on Pinterest until 1am trying to find a new wallpaper for your phone. This means getting a good nights rest and understanding that you need time for you… your mind, body, and spirit needs it! I promise you will make the work deadline if you get a couple extra hours of sleep. Plus, you’ll have a better head on your shoulders the next day. Here are some key benefits of getting your beauty sleep:
– Better health
– Lowers stress
– Better sex life
– Less chronic pain
– Lower risk of injury
– Better mood
– Better weight control
– Clearer thinking
– Better memory
While in New York City
“The city that never sleeps” is the biggest understatement I’ve ever heard. From Times Square to the people on the 4th floor of your hotel, there are people constantly rushing no matter what time of day it is. And even as chaotic as it is, I love every minute of it. Now I didn’t just go to New York for the simple fact that I’m a suburban raised fashion student that loves the city life. I actually went there for two reasons; a study tour trip through school AND to get my foot in the door with various fashion related companies.
Times Square – pictures do this 2 blocks wide and 3 blocks long mash of buildings no justice. The area is surrounded by street vendors, acrobats, and double decker bus tour guides that seem to not understand the concept of “no”. The 22 story high building next to the multiple jumbotron screens of different advertisements make all the pedestrians look like teeny tiny ants. When it comes to visuals, I think they’ve got it down. Even on the 3rd day of being in the mist of Times Square my eyes seemed to always find something new.
But enough about the biggest tourist hot-spot in all of New York, lets get to what we actually care about – shopping. Ughhh, I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I fell in love with pieces from Balmain, shoes by Valentino, and bags at Tom Ford. Now I know Madison and Fifth Ave are great places to shop but can we take a minute to acknowledge SoHo?! It brings your shopping experience and high class to a whole other level. And the fact that nearly every store has doormen blows my mind. And to think I thought us having champagne on certain occasions at Michael Kors was a big kicker! Burberry in particular had not only champagne on a plater as you walked in but they had horderves too. Shopping around people that had American Express Black Cards and saying words I hardly knew the definition to made me feel that much more sophisticated.
So I talked to really influential people from the study tour, went to all the “must see” places, and spent way too much money… What’s next?! Well if you know anything about me and my go-getting personality you’d know I didn’t go to New York just for that. On our designated free time I went to see Christina (BCBG’s New York Showroom HR). Now I had talked to Christina before – over the phone and via email that is. But this time I thought, why not?! I really need an internship so why not do it in the big apple with an amazing company such as BCBG Max Azria. Besides the fact that I got lost on the subway for 45 ungodly minutes and had swollen feet, meeting with Christina was not only the biggest eyeopener but it was worth every step it took to get to the 17th floor of BCBG’s doors. Long story short, I am happy to say I will be living in New York City August through December working with BCBG’s PR team during the fall season and New York Fashion Week. Dreams really do come true…
Photographed by me.